What was your 'lightbulb moment'?

[PippiLongBottom]

I am a mature student of English lit and when we approached feminist theory I had the biggest lightbulb moment that I had ever had in my whole life (36 yrs). In simple terms: everything made sense. My feelings regarding my marriage were validated. I thank the MN feminist boards for continuing to educate and keep the faith.

Do you have any moments you would like to share?

The Nadine Dorries amendment a few months ago. I'd been a feminist when I was younger, but as I'd settled into marriage and the workforce Id got complacent. The Dorries amendment shook me up, I started a couple of threads, ended up here, and the light went on. I think I thought I couldn't be a feminist because my home set-up is so traditional - it took some posters on here to show me that was bollocks.

I'd just left an abusive relationship and I was looking to answer 'why?' because just blaming the individual didn't make sense- I needed a sociological explanation and feminism provided one.

But I know what you mean by losing my way when I was busy working ft with a young child. Being sacked for getting pregnant with DC2 gave me both the time and drive to get back into activism.

Although I was a feminist I didn't have a very coherent view of sexism and how it operated, then I read Mary Daly's Gyn/Ecology and realised that we live in a patriarchy and men's mistreatment of women is deliberate and is about maintaining male power over women. Like you Pippi, it meant that everything made sense.

A big one for me was going through infertility investigations. The gynaecology waiting room was decorated entirely in pink and it absolutely enraged me. Even the BMI chart, FFS, with the prettiest pink reserved for the lowest weights...

Actually, it still enrages me. The fact that fertility is seen as a woman's issue, even when the problem lies with the man. The language is gendered - men have 'abnormal sperm' (sounds fixable) but women 'fail to conceive' (even if the man's sperm is the problem).

Any more?

Poor you. I am a new woman.

When I looked at my now ex one night (as usual relaxing in front of the games console) waiting for me 'the little woman' to run around sorting out all the domestic stuff (again)

It occurred to me what a pleasant, easy life without any responsibility to the adult things in life he was leading, thanks to my efforts and thinking 'god, wouldn't it be nice to have that myself'

Started researching on the Internet whether I 'had' to perform all these domestic pain in the arse things automatically because of my gender (that's how conditioned I was), came across this section and MN and the rest, as they say is history.

I was raised a forces child. I remember a civilian neighbour coming knocking for help over a leak and wanting to borrow my dad because her bloke was at work on nights. This would be 1967
My mum fixed the problem, knew where the stopcock was and all that stuff. She could change lightbulbs, wire plugs and cut hedges as well as many other manly accomplishments.
Neighbour was amazed that a woman could do a man's job, mum pointed out that her husband was overseas for 9 months. Which is a long time to wait.
It was the first time I realised that a lot of women didn't and wouldn't and couldn't do things that my mother took in her stride daily.
I was determined that I'd be more like her and less like the neighbour.

Lying in the sun on a flat roof after my uni exams I opened a book my friend had given me called the Second Sex. I read and read until I was too sunburnt to sit comfortably that evening. I felt like my eyes had been opened but didn't know quite what to do with the information.

Fast forward five years, I cuddled my second child and wondered why my life had been transformed so much more by having children than my husband's. I came across the feminist section, buried right at the bottom of Mumsnet under 'other'. Again, I felt that my eyes had been opened but this time I knew exactly what to do with the information. I became angry and I became informed (via the book recommendations on the board). I have integrated feminism throughout my thesis, my teaching, my parenting and my marriage since. Sometimes I wish I could stop seeing misogyny and backlash everywhere I look ... but for my daughters' sake I'm glad I can't.