Childrens books

[StrongestMummyInTheWorld]

My daughter's school had a company called Scholastic run a book fair. I told my daughter she could choose a book herself. She chose a "Hello Kitty 'I Love Pink'" sticker book, published by Harper Collins. I tried to set my face in neutral and paid up without checking the book. When we got home I was surprised to find that the book contained a certificate titled "official I love pink award, so and so loves pink and deserves a very special pink heart award for all their hard work".

My daughter was very pleased and kept asking if I liked the book, I said no, and that she would understand why when she is about thirteen. She said it is okay for us to like different things, which is fair enough up to a point. However, I have found that the gender stereotyping at her pre-school and school is extreme. I'm remembering wistfully my own childhood when Enid Blyton books had to be read secretly under the bedclothes as they were the worst rubbish available in those days.

I'm trying to define exactly what it is that bothers me and I wondered what other people think. And is anyone doing anything about it?

Is it the award thing? That girls need do nothing more than like pink stuff to be rewarded? It is a very passive message.

You'll probably find all the answers you're looking for on this site.

IMO, it's all about balance. Part of the problem with the excessive gender marketing of toys is that girls toys/products tend to embody prettiness and passivity. Nothing wrong with being pretty or liking pretty things, and sometimes being passive/gentler is a virtue, but it has to be balanced or we risk forcing our children into boxes. So, there's no need to ban Hello Kitty, but you could introduce something much more active to counter it. My own DD, for example, loves HK and Thomas the Tank Engine, and while I indulge her love of all things pink and shiny, I make sure appearance doesn't take precedence over function (so pink trousers for soft-play rather than a flouncy skirt that gets in the way, and sticking gems on boys' shoes because pretty girl's shoes are often shoddily made, more slippery and offer less support).

One of the great ways to address some of these issues is your choice of reading material. I stick to some of the older, more traditional fairy tales where female characters are more proactive and the tales generally more gruesome (which children love) rather than the sanitised disney-type versions in which the female characters are much more passive and pretty. Books like princess smartypants are also fabulous for undoing some of the stereotypes forced on children by the media and aggressive toy marketing.

Like SGM I would be worried about the excessive gender-stereotyping at your DDs school. I have been known to make snarky comments in reading diaries when I find something that particularly irks me. Generally though my school is pretty good in what they do themselves (though their available reading material can sometimes let them down). Indeed, I thought counteracting gender-stereotyping was part of the every child matters philosophy, in which case it may be worth reminding the school of that (if you can cope with the label of pushy parent).

Good luck. You're certainly not alone in being made uncomfortable about things like this.

Thanks for these ideas, that helps, and it's great to know someone else is bothered.

Oh, I don't object to Hello Kitty per se. The pictures are very attractive, and the original storyline has it's positives - Kitty practises piano every day, which is great, she values friendship. These are worthwhile concepts. But this particular book does not include tough disciplined music practise - a Hello Kitty certificate for playing a scale every day for a month, now that would be okay. Nor does it include the nitty-gritty of friendships, Kitty just takes a photo of her friends. A Hello Kitty book about hair-pulling, spitting and saying poo-pants to your best friends would be highly topical right now. (Contemplating scanning in the images and writing my own storylines.)

I honestly couldn't give a flying monkey if she dresses top to toe in pink, and I happily agreed to paint the whole house (super pale) pink which looks gorgeous. But in books amount of pink seems to be inversely correlated with quality.