Possibly stupid question

[muddymary]

Ok not sure if it's relevant but I live in a very 'traditional' area, I consider myself a feminist but there's no one round where I live who I can really share my ideas with. So almost all of my conversations about women's rights etc have taken place online.

Anyway DP and I have decided to get married next year. Much the the disgust of his family I've decided to keep my surname. Only I'm not sure if there are any conventions about what happens to my title - can I just decide? Can I stay as miss? Do I have to change it to mrs anyway?

I know thousands of women have kept their name - I just don't know any of them personally! - Any ideas?

You can be Miss, Ms or Mrs, exactly as you wish.

AFAIK you can just decide.

At my wedding the registrar said 'congratulations Mrs DH' at the end and I said 'oh, no I'm not going to be Mrs DH' she said that's fine your name does not automatically change when you get married, its just something we say....

You don't have to change to Mrs and in my opinion it doesn't make sense to as it seems to indicate you are married to your dad!

I am Ms, but all my bank cards still say Miss because that is what I was when I first signed up for a Natwest Piggys account and I've never bothered to change it.

I usually drop the title when I can, or go with Ms if it isn't possible.
Have done for 27 years since I married.

You can call yourself anything you like.

I'd say your choice would be between continuing as Miss (if that is what you use now) or becoming Ms. I don't think Mrs with your current name would be a particularly good option, but there's nothing to stop you using that if it were your preference.

I kept my name, call myself Ms but then I'd been doing that for years before anyway. I prefer Ms because it doesn't tell anyone my marital status, as opposed to Miss which implies you are definitely unmarried. And agree with meditrina that calling yourself Mrs MuddyMary would be a bit odd - but that's my opinion, you can call yourself anything you like.

as the others have said you can decide. i started using Ms when i was 17/18 and stuck with that once i got married.

I don't use a title if I can avoid it and it is annoying when total strangers ask, "Is that Miss or Mrs" just so they can tick their boxes. My standard response is, "Neither, I don't use a title but if you must, Ms."

I am Ms Slug, as I have been since I was about 12. Occasionally I will refer to myself as Mrs D H's name, but usually only when dealing with businesses at which DH has an account. More commonly DH gets referred to as Mr Slug as he was the SAHD and I'm the one who earns more and tends to deal with banks etc.

Thanks for your replies everyone.

Although StewieGriffinsMom, I could really let calling myself whatever I want go to my head Ms Marvellous Mary Christmas sounds good!

I once had a neighbour called Mary Christmas!

I tend to use Ms if asked now (mainly because of reading, and agreeing with, a lot of comments on here), although I've found the more I think about it, the less I care [hgrin] I changed some of my bank cards to Mrs when we first got married (kept my own name though), but some wouldn't let me change without the marriage certificate and I never got around to it, so they're are still Miss.

I don't see why it sounds like I'm married to my dad if I use Mrs myname though, no-one ever says that it sounds like DH is married to his mum by using Mr!

I married in March, and I am Ms HimMe, as he is Mr HimMe. We only changed surnames so we both had the same as the kids in case of confusion with schools, passports/tracel etc in the future (know people who had probs with that).

mind you, if everyone goes double barrelled, imagine several generations time.... bank cards would have to be 3 feet long