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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

where did you learn about feminism?

36 replies

SinicalSal · 28/10/2011 14:09

All I know about feminism I learnt from a cartoon I saw in the Sun once.

Therefore, I'm an expert and I hate you all, you hairylegged saggytitted man haters.

In reality I want to say thanks to you all. But sometimes I wish my eyes had never been opened. It was cosier chuckling away about daft useless men and I found the low level self directed resentment and discomfort quite easy to deal with, in the main...

OP posts:
WoTmania · 28/10/2011 15:56

I didn't identiify myself as a feminist until I started reading alot of the feminist stuff on here. In retrospect most of my views as a teenager etc were quite feminist even though my mother is a MAFMWAFV believer and still feels that maybe 'it's all gone a bit too far' Hmm.

MsAnnTeak · 28/10/2011 19:06

Ecofeminists are a branch I had no idea existed, so still learning.

Theala · 28/10/2011 19:15

My parents are both feminists so I grew up thinking that was the norm. The real world was sometimes a bit of a shock. Hmm

StewieGriffinsMom · 28/10/2011 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 28/10/2011 19:33

Oh. Well.

Read my parents' copy of The Second Sex when I was, what, 12?

Read my parents' copy of The Female Eunuch not long afterwards.

Got involved in stuff like women's aid, reclaim the night marches and so on in my year off before university.

Got more involved in other women's stuff at university...

motherinferior · 28/10/2011 19:33

I am 48, btw, so the university stuff was early 80s feminism, which is why I get a bit deja vued out on some of the threads round here.

Tchootnika · 28/10/2011 19:37

At the foot of my mum's desk, at the school gates, in classes, at friends' houses, in the park, at the next door neighbours' house, visiting relatives... Lots of places.
Then I was exposed to different 'versions' through academia.
Also developed my own 'theories' whilst generally out and about. And I still do.

Bue · 28/10/2011 20:36

I credit my godfather for getting me started. When I was 16 or so he sent me a bunch of seminal works he thought I should read. One of them was The Female Eunuch. (There was also The Communist Manifesto in there and goodness know what else. He is a very cool godfather :) )

moonshineandspellbooks · 29/10/2011 01:39

Here on MN really, and largely due to encountering Dittany elsewhere on the site.

I was brought up with strong feminist principles but in a very non-academic way. The only time my gender was ever allowed to influence my decision making was going on the pill, but this was just the way it was in my house - there were no discussions about feminism or women's rights, just a blanket rule that men and women were equal and should have equal opportunities. TBH I tended to view feminists as dungaree-wearing 'strident' types, and didn't really identify as a feminist, though I'm sure other people would have seen me as one.

Looking back, the sort of feminism I was brought up with was somewhat derisory of traditionally female roles, such as being a SAHM, and viewed equality as giving women the opportunity to behave like men and therefore achieve the same rewards as men. I never saw it in this framework however until I started reading more on Dittany's recommendation.

By this time I'd also had my own children and realised that despite having things go swimmingly for me in the past by behaving in a more male-like way, having children completely altered the playing field and left me struggling to manage both financially and practically, as well as having a crisis in identity. At the same time, I was in no doubt that having DC was the best thing I've ever done and I was hugely conflicted about the whole thing. Discovering radical feminism was like a sensation of coming home for me. It's one of the reasons I am so grateful to, and will always think so highly of, Dittany, who can be credited with setting me on this path. Smile

Despite having no money and no career to speak of, I can honestly say that at no time in my life have I known myself as well as I do know and at no time have I ever felt the peace I know now. And feminism is responsible for that. Smile (but not before going through a mad, angry phase for a while first Wink).

ComradeJing · 29/10/2011 05:16

On MN. I was one of those girls who would never, ever admit to being a feminist as I had bought into the myth that feminism was shouty, angry, hairy wimmin with a grudge against men. I should admit the first few times I saw some of the wonderful MN feminist poste in other areas of the site I was rolling my eyes a lot.

Then I actually came on to the FWR board and started reading, then nodding along, then joining in, then reading some suggested blogs and books and now boring my friends about it all. It's changed me and how I think about the world and how I'll parent my dc.

epicfail · 29/10/2011 13:16

Here, on MN. After attending a terrifying lecture about porn and the sexualisation of girls I started reading threads here, I've got some feminist books on order and I have joined a local collective.
And I am realising I have been subjected to sexism and mysogyny in my life - I just didnt recognise them.

I have three daughters, I want to learn so that I can educate them.

Grumpla · 29/10/2011 13:23

Raised by two feminists and doing my best to raise another one at the moment!

Because feminism has always been part of my world view I do find it quite frustrating sometimes when apparently rational intelligent people fail to see things the way I do. I find the widespread cultural acceptance of sexism pretty depressing. I am trying to get better at understanding WHY people don't 'get it' and approaching the matter diplomatically rather than just bellowing "For fuck's sake, why don't you get it!?!?" at them though Wink

suburbandream · 29/10/2011 13:27

At secondary school, and from the news at the time. When I was about 11 or 12 the Greenham Common Women were protesting and there was a lot of media attention. Plus I went to an all-girls grammar school so it was something that was discussed a lot

AnnieLobeseder · 29/10/2011 13:38

I've always held feminist beliefs, but the scales didn't truly fall from my eyes until quite recently, thanks to the feminists here on MN. And like you, OP, I sometimes wish I could go back to when I wasn't constantly enraged by how sexist everything is. It's exhausting! Confused

rosy71 · 29/10/2011 15:03

From Secondary School onwards really. I then did a degree in History and Sociology where we did quite a bit on both Women's History and Feminism. I've always been a feminist but sometimes lose touch a bit whenlife takes over iyswim!

BertieBotts · 29/10/2011 15:08

On the internet.

messyisthenewtidy · 29/10/2011 15:09

Have been one since before knew what the word meant. Antonia Fraser said that you should never underestimate the early feminism that comes from having an elder brother close in age. I'm not completely sure why exactly but I guess it's a rebellion against the assumption you can't do certain things because you're a girl, or the realization that mainstream culture is geared towards your brother and not you.

Had a few personal waves in my time, trying to deny it cos you know it's not very attractive to be a fem, but Jessica Valenti's "He's a stud, She's a slut" incited the last wave and thanks to MN it hasn't stopped yet. Hopefully never will.

LineRunnerWitchyMother · 29/10/2011 15:11

University.

Thank fuck I went. My home life and home town were ultra-Stepfordian.

TheFeministsZombieBride · 29/10/2011 19:36

Probably when I started secondary school I think. It was an all girls school and even though it was Catholic most of the teachers (about 95% of them were female) had very feminist views. Although I don't really remember not being a feminist really. My mum has always been pretty outspoken about certain issues. I was brought up in a house were females ruled too. My dad was the only male out of 4 females (as in our house now, DH is the only male [hgrin]), so life was pretty much female orientated.

I spent my teens being frequently laughed at by certain "friends" because of my feminist views. Especially in front of boys, when in private they'd agree with me. [hhmm] But it was only since coming on to MN that I realised I was rad fem.

TheRealTillyMinto · 30/10/2011 09:09

DB & i were brought up the same so i dont remember learning about feminism as such, but i do remember learning that some people thought a girl should not be doing fun stuff & should be 'nice' & 'ladylike'.

fuck 'em.

LaPruneDeMaTante · 30/10/2011 09:13

I learned along the way, from women and men. I learned about crap feminism from a "feminist" friend who told me her she hoped her sex life was like a porn film, and other gems as well.

LaPruneDeMaTante · 30/10/2011 09:14

Meant to say, I learned fuck all from my own mother, and my dad is a chauvinist in a 70s sort of a way. I don't identify with my parents, which has honestly been the one thing that has saved me from a very unhappy life.

MarshaBrady · 30/10/2011 09:17

University. Was good for me and my friends. Helped us understand our reaction to leery, wolf-whistling random men. And loads of other stuff of course.

Very theoretical.

purits · 30/10/2011 09:22

I'm not sure that I 'learned' about feminism. I went to an all-girls school (pupils and teachers) so I never learned that girls do these subjects/boys do those subjects. We did whatever suited our abilities and personalities so we didn't learn feminism, we just did it.
Mum was a WOHM, doing the same job as dad.

wicketkeeper · 30/10/2011 11:37

My grandmother, who died before I was born - but was the second ever female town councillor in Scotland, fought long and hard to do away with mean-tested benefits (on the basis that they penalise people who work hard and are careful with their money), and brought her daughters up virtually single-handed (my grandfather was a fisherman, so rarely home). A formidable woman, who taught me that you have to fight for what you believe in and that being a woman is no barrier to doing that.

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