Is it less socially acceptable for women to be geeky?

[mumwithdice]

The reason I ask is because I am both a geek and a SAHM and I have yet to meet any mums like me.

I suspect that there are some, but they are not as open about it as I am. This makes me wonder if there is a certain amount of societal pressure for women not to be seen in that fashion.

So, I suppose the real question is, if this is the case, why? Thoughts?

have started making me sick

Think there is less acceptance of female geeks, esp at school gates. DH runs a roleplaying company, publishing books, and the second he tells most men what he does they all start talking about games the played in their youth. On the other hand if I mention anything outside children or what softplay place I like the conversation stops fairly fast!

Mind you an evening with roleplayers debating what rule systems they prefer is almost as painfully dull to be as a convesation about softplay. I'm not a gamer at all, but love sci fy and fantasy.

Hmm, try being a computer geek when you are not only a woman, but 55...

Though I do enjoy leading on patronising young male shop assistants by asking what colours a computer comes in. Never fails

On the other hand, I don't think you can get much more geeky than writing Captain Scarlet fanfic, and DH is the only man in his online group of Anderson writers. I sometimes suspect he only got admitted to the 'inner circle' because the pseudonym he used sounded feminine and by the time they realised he was a guy it was too late...

hmm, my name is upsydaisysexstylist and I am a geek. I was very cross nay incandescent with rage when a reviewer reffered to the film of I Robot as derivative of Robocop, everything with robots in is derivative of Asimov.

Anyhoo, I can very excited about maths and wool based craft, there are knitting patterns for D20's on ravelery. My DP has wargamed for many a year and I find myself encouraging him to get dreadfleet so we can play together. He thinks his knowledge of military history and experience will trump my love of probability theory, plus the individual games might just fit into the child free time of an evening ( I find fellow geeks are optomists). Walking into games workshop as a woman is quite funny, as it does not seem to actually make sense to the shop assistants on a molecular level

Teetik, well, it's a useful filter, isn't it?
DoubleNegative Ah, we only have a PC to play on.

turkey Can I be nosy and ask you to PM me what your DH's company is? As to softplay, etc, this is why I never bothered with mum and baby groups.

upsy I wish I could knit. I'm going to learn, but my dyspraxia means it will take ages. And when I lived in Reading, I used to walk into the Games Workshop just to amuse myself by freaking out the staff although my favourite experience has been visiting Forbidden Planet while 8 months pregnant.

I think so yes.
I am also Sahm and geeky - it background, wear glasses, not into girly stuff
However I class myself as geek chic

Anyway back to your question
Society wants women who are pleasing to the eye, know their place, are not as intelligent as men.

Oh well degree in physics. Used to work as an engineer, I now work as a physics teacher.

I would say that I have a strong geek streak in me (passionate about physics and astronomy and I like sci-fi) but I'm not really into RPG and such like. Very used to being the only female in a work environment. Also, very confused about the dice thingy that everyone is going on about.

I do have female friends but I make them cautiously and carefully after being quite badly bullied at school. I stuck out like a sore thumb! I just didn't care what anyone thought of me. Being on the margins of society is my default position.

Society positively wets its knickers with anxiety at the thought of an intelligent woman. It simply can. not. compute.

My name is clairefromsteps and I'm a geek. Every Thursday evening I sit around a table pretending to be a level 29 half-elf wizard called Kallista who is getting ready to slay the demon prince, Orcus. My 'end-of-wedding-ceremony' music was the Star Wars theme tune and the little bride and groom on the top of the cake were Han and Leia figures (originals from the seventies - I cried a little bit when I took them out of their blister packs). I know the difference between Warhammer and Warmachine. I did a little bit of wee in my knickers when I heard Joss Wheadon was directing The Avengers.

But I also like romcoms, Angry Birds, pedicures and the Next catalogue. I have my hair highlighted and I'm very active in the PTA.

I don't think being 'geeky' and being 'girly' (or mainstream, or whatever you want to call it) are mutually exclusive, but I do think it's less socially acceptable for a girl to be geeky.

I had a mum-friend from school over for coffee a while back and she found my 'special' D20 when she moved a sofa cushion. I couldn't even argue that it was my husband's, because it's pink and glittery. I 'fessed up and told her what I do on a Thursday and she kind of glazed over and changed the subject. Interestingly, men have only ever been enthusiastic when I've talked about my more obscure hobbies, so I think it's other women rather than 'the patriarchy' that are dishing out the societal pressure.

Have you read Shelley Mazzanoble's blog and book 'Confessions of a part-time sorceress'? She works at WotC as a marketing bod or something - it's veh funny and makes some interesting points about being a girl and having an unusual pastime.

Mumwithdice - just re-read the thread - let me know if you need any more players for your mums and babies D&D group! I've never played with girls before - I bet the dynamic is totally different.

ooh rustybear I'm a 56 yr old geek and I play with the heads of shop assistants in computer shops too - but only when they try to dazzle me with their lack of knowledge.

my dcs thought it was perfectly normal to go off for weekends at sci fi conventions and spend weeks putting together costumes :-)

If anyone wants to meet girl geeks then go to some media sci fi conventions, join Women in Technology as fox mentioned or see if there is a "girl geek dinner" network near you.

It's also very important to check whether you are a geek a nerd or a dork - see this diagram for details [hwink].

I was an amateur geek for years before retraining as a professional geek and I now teach geeky things to other geeks and proto-geeks. In my bit of (computer) geekdom there are loads of women!

catsrus I love the Venn diagram. Which probably counts as a symptom of geekiness in itself.... . On the basis of that I can definitely define myself as a geek, with mild nerd-like tendencies.

catsrus, I own Confessions of a Part Time Sorceress, have done for years .

Level 29? That is epic level! I am impressed.

As to d&d groups, are you in London? If you are, pm me and maybe we can sort something or at least have a coffee.