I really wouldn't worry about the occasional pink & frilly toy. My DD had the cars, train sets, workbench etc. But she did have the occasional desire to play with Barbies and pink frilly fairy stuff. I felt it was appropriate for her to play with those things as long as she was being offered alternatives. To be honest, the car park, car racing thingy and Brio train was an awful lot more interesting. I bought some long plastic tubes and stuff (from a DIY store) to make it serious fun. It was. When she had her girly friends over with their girly mums who were adamant their fairy daughters would only play with pink girly toys - well, you can probably guess what happened. When the girly girls were picked up I did point out that had had some fun with cars; but it was like a scene from the Stepford Wives. Their mums would bat their eyelids and rule out that their daughters would ever play with boys toys. I can't remember a single girl who didn't enjoy the car racer.
One particular afternoon springs to my mind. My daughter had a friend over and they wanted to dress up and use make-up. They spent hours in all sorts of raggedy clothes. They used lipstick and eye make-up for some kind of alien scene. Their faces were red and they had painted scars using 'extra-long eyelash wonder'. I spent a good half hour with cream and toilet paper trying to make my daughter and her friend presentable for her mum to pick her up. When her mum came I told her they had been playing dressing-up and that they had used make-up. I was trying to explain their, errr, well slightly blushed look. She smiled and said, ' little girls just loving dressing up nicely and putting on make-up, don't they? The girls turned around and gave me the world's cheekiest grins.
Now, 5 years on, there is little chance of getting my daughter, now 13, into anything pink. She thinks girls who cover themselves up with make-up are a bore. Yes, she is getting into fashion - but she can still come home covered in mud.
I'm chuffed to bits to hear there are mums out there who are offering alternatives - just a shame I never met any. I have to admit, it was tedious at times. I do remember trying to buy my daughter knickers when she was around 11. We couldn't find anything that wasn't pink and cheesy. She said she would rather drop dead than wear anything like that. I just wanted to buy her knickers and at some point I would have settled for mildly pink. I actually had to order her underwear online abroad. Quite shocking, really.
There is some serious conditioning going on and it makes me sick. It is so important for both girls and boys to have access to construction toys, dolls arty toys - the whole lot. Why shouldn't boys make things out of beads and frills? Why are toys even gender specific? Why did I feel like an alien having a girl who had a train set? Why on earth do we deprive our children of these things? What are we afraid of? An artistic son with social skills and a feminine side - scary, or what? A daughter who enjoys constructing things? I don't get it. I don't know about you, but I find men with a feminine side highly desirable. In my experience they tend to be highly intelligent, witty and fabulous fathers. Isn't a witty mum who can repair things, play football with the kids an awful lot more fun than a Stepford Wife?
And back to the OP: I'd be more concerned about your childminder's stereotypes. I would certainly address that. Then again, it's a fairly lonely battle and just offering her some exciting gender neutral stuff and boys toys with the right messages might be enough to guide your DD. It certainly worked for my DD.
Now I've only got to get her through watching over-sexualised music videos with gang rape and girls are there to be f*ed style content. Help.