Why does DH get angry when I explain why Lap Dancing is wrong?

[MumblingRagDoll]

I should first tell you that he has never been to one....I know him very well and I know this to be fact. He has always been entirely honest wth me.

I used to think they were fine...these clubs...because I assumed the women had chosen this life for themseves...but since I have read so much about extraneous cicumstnces and learned a lot on MN, I am very angry that so many clubs have opened in recent years. DH feels that the women are putting themselves in the way of exploitation and that nobody HAS to strip....I told him about how women are conditioned to feel that their sexuality is their only currency and about how the girls are exploited ad pressured by club owners and he STILL thinks it's their own fault.

He did go when I told him how many of these women are pressured into allowing men to touch them in private rooms and how the mangagment fine them heavIly for being late or sick and he was a bit more understanding but he still feels they're stupid for going into that business.

I have become involved in a project aimed throwing some light on the situation....with the aim of getting attention and creating some protection for the women...better working conditions and he said "You can't DO anything...the sort of men who run those places are scum and gangsters and you have delusions of grandeur"

Is it because he REALLY thinks the women are stupid and the men dangerous or is it because he doesn't like to think of me touching on a sleazy world like this?

Vixaxn - the thing is my high street is not full of male strip clubs and I think I would have to travel a fair distance to see the Chippendales! Its the normality of it that makes me sick.

Although imho one can't equate the institutionalised nature of marketing the objectification of women through products and services like strip clubs with the likes of Chippendales - type acts (which don't promote male submissiveness, control and objectivity but if anything, a powerful "hypermasculine" image of maleness,) male strip type acts are just cack. I certainly wouldn't go to such an act and personally can't understand why women would choose to do so.

During a recent trip to Manchester, our hotel overlooked a stretch of "gentlemen's clubs" and similar "entertainments." My DH was astounded at the number of establishments and the imagery used to promote them and remarked that kids from the school nearby probably passed them every day, absorbing ideas of "what girls and women are for" as they did. He doesn't understand why men go to such places, unless it is because they feel entitled to buy women in the way they feel entitled to buy a nice car or big house, or that they cave in to pressure from other men who will label them as feminine or gay (aka "not a real man.)

Despite the plethora of "gentlemen's clubs" in most cities, I can honestly say I've never seen a specific club with male strippers/pole dancers/lap dancers/etc. catering exclusively for women. There probably are some, but they must be extremely rare compared to those catering for men. The Chippendales and their ilk tend to be a "road show," performing at seaside theatres, community arts centres, that sort of thing (and I should imagine their acts won't be as explicit as those in "gentlemen's clubs" due to licensing restrictions.)

Mrs Clown, no, male stripping is not as popular as female stripping/lap dancing. (though many hen parties seem to hire them these days) but if both adults are willing (and no female partner is being deceived by their partner visiting against their wishes), it's nobody else's business imo.

Totally agree SGM.

Also, I don't "do" hen parties, but I have been invited to some and have talked to people who've been to them. Off the top of my head, I can think of, let's see, 8 during the past 12 to 18 months. There were no male strip acts nor visits to male strip acts in any of them. The closest a couple got were carrying around blow up man dolls.

However, I was genuinely stunned that 3 of them included burlesque and/or pole dancing lessons. I mean wtf really?

When DH heard this was arranged for his sister in law's sister's hen (and her groom would be going to an obligatory pole dancing club for his stag,) he joked that the "gentlemen's clubs" were missing a trick here. Why not charge hen parties for pole dancing "lessons" and take money off stag parties to come in and watch them? Minimal cost and maximum profit!