Well I suppose if you look at the root of it then marriage is a problematical institution with an awful lot of terrible baggage.
Husband, wife, mr, mrs, all of these things stem from the institution of marriage. So the conversations around these things are all connected and definitely a feminist issue.
I think as usual it is a balancing act between what you would ideally want, and going along with society conventions for a quiet life.
So bottom line is, if you don't want to be a wife, don't get married. You get married, you are a wife. A man gets married, he is a husband. That's the terminology.
For me, personally, I start to wonder whether the title stuff is a red herring. I was ms when I was young, now I'm a mrs and a wife. I was a miss for a bit there too. If there was no sexism, these things would not matter one jot. I like the fact that gay couples can register civil partnerships, and wish the religions would catch up to serve those who think a religious ceremony is important. Pairing off is fine. Ceremonially pairing off is fine. Changing your title because you have paired off is fine. Discrimination, sexism, an assumption on what work you will do etc is not fine. Tackle that, I think. And tackle the sexism in most mainstream religions. Sort those out, and "husband" , "wife" won't matter, there will be no connotations.