Men are doing as much housework as women..

[queenofthemojavewasteland]

According to my local DJ

After clearing up the coffee off my keyboard, I listened to what he was saying and he claims that (unquoted) American reasearch has shown that men are doing as much work around the home as women. He went on to say that 60% of men questioned did 2 hours housework a day can anyone tell me where this came from? I did email the DJ for info but he didn't get back to me.

Has anyone heard of this reasearch? How reliable is it? I cannot believe the figures he's quoted but if I'm proved wrong so be it.

yes it was funny! was I being all po-faced? Sorry

Hoarding - I've only know one hoarder - the mum of an ex-p. The bathroom was a positive arsenal of cleaning materials and bottles of detergents and sparays, and half a forest's worth of Lou Rawls. I believe she had ishooos, but prob. not illuminating on the poss gender question posed.

Oh, no, don't apologize pan - difficult to get tone on the net.

I only asked about hoarding because I was reading about people who did seem to have quite serious mental issues, which were being made visible in their houses. I think the whole question of who does the housework, does one partner do more, is it because they have different standards from each other, is such a minefield that it would be good to know more about why some of us mind so much about clutter and others don't. I suspect women are conditioned to mind/feel guilty about a messy house much more than men, and that becomes a vicious circle because if you live with someone who has higher standards than you, it's so easy to make cleaning 'their' issue.

When we're both in the house we do as much as each other and sometimes (most) DH does more. He's much better at single tasks than me, I flit from room to room doing half a job.

I am out the house for 13 hours a day and I still do the majority of the housework and dh would agree that this is the case. He simply does not "see" what needs doing, or at least that is his excuse. I have tried leaving things to see if there is a point at which he does "see" the need to act, but I break before he does. He seems to think that is is alright to say that "men just don't see mess". I know that in a way he is right, I don't allow him to see it because my tolerance for living in a pig sty is much lower than his - don't know why that is though.

@GooseyLoosey
I think it's because some women need order to function effectively and historically women are genetically programmed to create order for men.

Woman is maid of man. We are men's servants - and we are still lured into the trap by Cinderella. We think a man will look after us but very cleverly we are there to look after men and they buy us dresses, shoes, handbags and shiny things and we are hypnotised by our wants and we forget that we are domestic slaves. The majority of women give themselves away to easily. We are unhappy enough to complain about it but not co-ordinated enough to change it.

Not sure I ever thought a man would look after me, did however think he might be able to look after himself! In that I have been sadly disappointed.

I think it might have a lot to do with expectation. If I said I didn't know what needed doing around the house or how to cook tea, I would generally be perceived as lacking in some way. If dh doesn't know what needs doing that's OK, he's not supposed to. I vividly remember having to go back to work part-time when ds was 10 weeks old. I had found the whole experience of being a mother horrific and was struggling. Work was my lifeline. All the HV asked was how dh was going to manage looking after his son 1 day a week and was I sure he could cope. Never mind dh, I wasn't sure I could cope. She was shocked when I said I niether knew nor cared - it was up to dh to damn well make sure he could parent his child.

That's really funny - I agree with you. I keep saying i would like two things a man who looks after himself and a dog doesn't shit - as far as I am aware neither exists!

Having said that I have a son, and I am thinking of just apologising to his significant other because his will to not be tidy and organised is greater than my will to get him to be so. Although he is currently in my own version of bootcamp to try and redress the balance. I still have time - and I will not give up the fight.