Men are doing as much housework as women..

[queenofthemojavewasteland]

According to my local DJ

After clearing up the coffee off my keyboard, I listened to what he was saying and he claims that (unquoted) American reasearch has shown that men are doing as much work around the home as women. He went on to say that 60% of men questioned did 2 hours housework a day can anyone tell me where this came from? I did email the DJ for info but he didn't get back to me.

Has anyone heard of this reasearch? How reliable is it? I cannot believe the figures he's quoted but if I'm proved wrong so be it.

I suppose mumsnetting doesn't count as housework...

Hexbex, would you like to say anything about the point I have made?

OK tartydoris if you like.

I will merely say that when it comes to his car, every single man I have ever known, is far more obsessive about cleanliness and tidyness, than any woman I have ever known is, about her house.

Because he owns the car-tidying issue you see.

Oh I think there was something about this in the Times or Sunday Times lately, sorry I can't remember more!

I do remember reading it and feeling very sceptical though... it's very hard to know the real figures, but I certainly don't get the impression things are anywhere near equal on average yet. But there wasn't all that much information on where their figures came from.

Well, that's pretty uneven HerBX. The sense of ownership over a car isn't really relevant here, and what you say is pretty much a stereo-type, to boot. I know lots of blokes, me incl., who drive around in mobile weeliebins, but have much higher standards when it comes to homes.

I am sure tarty is right in her assertion about the pre-occupation, relatively, about tidyness, that women exhibit as compared to males.

It's not the ownership of the car Pan.

It's the ownership of the presentation of the car, the cleanliness of it.

I accept it taps into stereotypes. It happens to be what I've witnessed and experienced though.

I also agree that lots of women are more obsessional about cleaning their houses etc. than men, because they get judged on the cleanliness or otherwise of their houses, while men don't.

How many times do people point at women for not keeping a decent house, when there's a perfectly pro perly functioning man in the house, who is also not keeping a decent house, but somehow doesn't own the responsibility for htat. HOw many times are men referred to as "helping" thier female DP's with housework - because the responsibility is her's.

SGM - probably, yes. And it could be in concerns about care re children and having a safe, 'clean' environment. But also you are aligning social construction AND biological determinism as if they are obv. the same. IYSWIM. Idon't think they are at all.

< The Hour, have missed it totally, tho' seen the adverts for it>

for the OP, no way do blokes spend as much time in housework. I know I don't. I am constantly amazed at my ability to walk past stuff on the stairs/landing without a thought - not 'dirty stuff' just 'stuff' which belongs elsewhere. Vacuuming is done when really needed, and kitchen floor mopped when it gets soiled from the garden. Sort of thing. I am sure if a woman lived here there would be "conversations" had.

My DH and I both work Full Time at present. We have one toddler. I still BF which seems to take ages of my time.

I am out of the house from 7.15 to about 7.30 to 8pm Monday to Friday.
During the week I get my clothes ready for work and sometimes throw together a dinner but my DH now does the rest of the house work. I do a big clean at weekend if I am not totally exhausted and say my toddler sleeps. So getting ready for work and work itself take up to 13-14 hours per working day. I get 3-4 hours with my toddler. The remaining time is spent chatting with DH then sleeping and if I can't sleep I will MN or watch something on Iplayer.

It is really hard juggling everything - but my DH certainly does at least around 2 hours of work a day I think more likely it is more time - and that would not involve nearly all the childcare undertaken Mon to Fri.

We have at least 2, (sometimes 3) loads of washing per day. My DH makes me breakfast and dinner - that way I get to spend precious time with my son. My son wakes between 5am to 6am and comes into my bed, I bf him while my DH makes me and my son breakfast, My son and I have breakfast in bed every week day morning, and while munching away I read my son stories - I usually get through 4-5 of his favourite books. I then do a mad dash getting ready for work (have it down to 20 mins to get my self washed and dressed and out the door) but to do this my DH makes the bed, clears away our breakfast, gets my son ready for nursery and any other associated admin like bills for nursery, our bills etc. Any spare time is spent with me cuddling and playing with my so. If my toddler sleep then spare time is spent with my DH, reading a good book and if I can't sleep then I MN.

Again when I return from work I BF my son, my DH makes me dinner and I play with my son. Often when I get home my son is bathed and washed ready for playing/feeding before bed. DH does the majority of the regular food shopping too.

DH has some flexibility with his hours, although they are full time. He does not have the commute I have. I find the tube in this weather awful and that is why loads of washing are so immense. If I've been out all day and travelled on the tube then I like to have all my work clothes washed.

DH does the rubbish I tend to do the gardening. Again I make gardening a game with my son. I tend to take the lead on DIY/ repairs. We have no one else around to help so I'd be lost without him.

On weekends I take the lead on cooking or we have something simple or we try pop out and about. We still find we need to do some cleaning on the weekends.

I am falling asleep right now

How many times do people point at women for not keeping a decent house
Who is it that does this pointing? Men? or Women?

I know a lot of women that have what I would term OCD regarding cleanliness and tidiness. Apart from being a waste of time, it's harmful to children to grow up in a sterile home, they need some dirt and germs in order to build immunities.

Tarty - probably both men and women would do the pointing. Both, albeit from different viewpoints, regarding "well if your house is dirty then you aren't a proper woman".

IME I have only known one woman who was OCD about cleaning, and she had personal ishooos. Most women I have known care much less. Most blokes I have/do know are utter pigs. Gay men are much, much more careful.

Gay men I've known have been more or less indistinguishable from straight men, apart from their tendency to date blokes.

I don't see how you could ever establish the truth of who does the most housework without fly-on-the-wall cameras or something - asking people what they think is pointless imo.

FWIW, I just asked DH and was pleasantly surprised he admits I do more.

Gay blokes? We have different experiences. Bar none, they are/have been much more aware of domestic sensitivities than straight blokes.

but yes you are right. They DO tend to date other gay men.

I share a house with some gay blokes two out of three years at university - 'domestic sensitivities' isn't quite what I noticed!

Well, my experience is a good deal more detailed, and of some longevity. What you describe are STUDENTS! And yes they are just dirty gay, bi, straight, or anything in between. They have much loftier things to think about than who last cleaned the loo. And good for them.

LOL at the title of this thread!

This is my motto:
FOr every single mother out there, there's a man doing FUCK ALL

For every single mother out there there's a single man. If he's doing "fuck all" cleaning, his house will be filthy and overun with mice and rats.

Do you envy him?

Women do not have the right to impose their neurotic standards of cleanliness on men. A healthy relationship is more important than a house like a petri dish.

Tarty - generalised neurotic comments

and for the devaluing of domestic work

Well done!

I have to say Sakura your motto is growing on me.

Gender inequality is such a huge issue.

admirably balanced point of view, sakura.

Ah, so in the hierarchy of human types, student is above homosexual? Ok then!

Does it not strike you that just maybe, gay men are just as varied in their habits as straigh men, or gay women, or whatever? I could be wrong, but I'm not waiting with bated breath for scientists to demonstrate that the genetic codes for homosexuality, house cleaning and a liking for Elton John are all interlinked.

doris - plenty of people, male and female, change their domestic habits when they're in a relationship. Some men I have known are perfectly able to cook, clean and so on - but once they're with a woman, that is her job.

No hierarchy implied or intended. And yes, such things have indeed struck me! which is why I qualify everything with 'generally', 'usually' and 'more likely' sort of thing.
This stops most people drawing wrong conclusions......

pan - I just meant you suggested being a student overwhelmed/cancelled out the element of homosexuality you'd say leads to a clean house - I thought it was funny! Students do often seem to have far more common ground with each other than with anything else, it's true.

I was wondering something that may be more relevant than my above digression - do we know if 'hoarding' is a particularly gendered thing? That sometimes has a lot to do with what you perceive to be a 'clean' house.