The moment you knew mumsnet feminism section was starting to influence how you think?

[QueenOfAllBiscuitsandMuffins]

I have just seen the new Maire Claire cover of Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bates, my VERY FIRST thought was ffs why is she half naked and he fully dressed. a year ago it would have been wow she looks fantastic (which to be fair she does thanks to the airbrush, hardword and good genes.)
I've only just (last 6 months) started to read the feminist section, I rarely post as my thoughts on the subject are mostly semi formed and rarely coherent.

Anyway, I'm sure there are a lot of people like me out there who don't really post but do read and learn, this is a very fluffy thread for this section but when did you realise the feminist section was having an influence of how you perceived things?

PrinceH: I've not gone anywhere. I just rarely post these days.

I've just remembered, I was up at school picking up the dc from the after school club they go to (we're in Germany, they're in primary school equivalent). I saw on a notice board that they were running a Beauty and Wellness afternoon (wtf?) and immediately blurted out to one of the people who runs the club "Is that for boys as well?!" probably in a slightly more militant tone than I would normally use

The first time I felt angry towards the men who raped me. It has taken such a mental reversal to hold them, not me, responsible. Which I can do thanks to this section.

Also reversed my views on porn.

I don't post here very often because it takes me so long to think of the words and it makes me cry. But I lurk every day.

It's crept up on me slowly. I can't put a finger on any exact point.

When I actually emailed Superdrug to complain about the beauty card without prompting from a feminist thread/ change.org/ petition website.

Or possibly when I started actively looking for feminist websites to join

It was a while back, when i'd been approached by a random man in a white van, asking me for a date whilst i pushed my toddler in a buggy. He became angry when i explained i was married. Lots of people told me to be flattered and get over it and then Dittany came to my aid saying that i had a right to trust my instincts and why on earth should a woman feel she has to be grateful and compliant over any unwanted male attention etc. Lightbulb moment where someone else managed to articulate thoughts i couldn't quite express myself.

Not quite sure what the first pointer was, but noticing all the sexist shit in adverts and on the TV was certainly one area that highlighted the influence this area was having on me.

Also I went to stay with a friend for a week and the only bit of housework her DH did was mow the lawn . Although tbf I would have probably noticed that anyway as she was knackered with 3 kids, and he wasn't! He was also controlling - which I had never picked up on before.

For me, it was the moment I was able to articulate, plainly and straightforwardly, why it was important to focus on men's and not women's behaviour in abusive relationships. The difference between knowing something in your bones and being able to point to the facts that support your position. And the facts that have most hit home for me have been about the pervasiveness of sexist violence: harrowing statistics and harrowing stories. Being Jewish, I'd always been aware of just how lucky I was to be born in this place and this century and under these circumstances, compared to my co-religionists who have faced persecution in other places, times and circumstances. Now, I'm conscious of being twice lucky - because I've not encountered the overt violence that so many women have faced, even when they are in very similar places, times and circumstances to me.

mowing the lawn is a lovely job (unless one or more children is in the way). Relaxing, you don't have to think, and the results last more than a couple of hours unlike sweeping the bloody floor or wiping the bloody table.

Some people do hoover the grass

DP does all the hoovering - maybe that's because we don't have a lawn for him to hoover mow.

Just wanted to let a few of you know that I am suwoo under a permanent name change.

I think you are right Dittany. We (at least me) want to hear about this stuff but it too often gets shouted down almost anywhere else. In general much of the internet is an uncomfortable place to express any kind of feminist argument. What surprises me is that what might be called "typical misogynist trolling" has happened to me on Facebook, with people who I had (until that point) respected and even liked. No wonder lots of people would rather keep quiet or not be interested in following such tripe as appears of CIF and other newspaper comments pages regularly. The Feminist MN board seems to go to show that talk of the death/failure of feminism are wishful thinking on some peoples' behalf.

ta for that, pippi

It hasn't

Trinity can I ask why it hasn't? Because you don't usually read it? Because you think your thinking is fairly feminist anyway or just because you don't care?

Also on the porn thing I am being coverted away, I like porn and have used it in my sex life despite knowing that it is degrading to women but have never really let that bother me (shame I know). However it does bother me now thanks to the threads on this section.

i noticed when i realised that it was actually ok to be a woman.
its ok to be a angry woman and i lost my shame.
i also noticed that mn feminism was influencing me when i kept having trouble trying to get into my e mails-
i had accedently been writing"womens rights/feminism mumsnet-instead of my password!

not sure queen
do read it a bit

maybe I dont read it more cause it smacks of cultish religion thing
I dont completely dislike the traditional roles either

The cognitive dissonance thread was a big eye opener for me and has had a positive impact on my life, my relationship and my parenting. That's when I realised this board was more than just stimulating reading for me.

I love this section. Have read Cordelia Fine's Delusions of Gender and bought more books, still in my to-read pile, thanks to posters' recommendations here. I am currently in the young family phase of life and running a relatively new business so have very little time to do more than a bit of reading, meet-ups sound great though, and I have felt a real surge of excitement at the thought that there are so many interesting and feminist women out there to meet (one day!)

The first moment I knew was when I started to read much loved "romance" books and thought how controlling the men were. Which turned into realising that romance books are simply another form of propaganda for the patriarchy.

It's lots of things now though. Calling myself a feminist and being proud of it. Talking to friends about feminism (though I'm still trying not to feel apologetic when I bring it up which I know is a contradiction to the prior sentence). Telling a friend that she shouldn't go near a man who doesn't use condoms because it is a deeply misogynistic act and then explaining why instead of just saying "but you could catch anything!" Buying feminist books suggested here. Really thinking about how I want to bring up DD - even little things like buying her the babygro with a tractor on it instead of asking the assistant to order a different one in much to the horror of the assistant. I get furious when I read the comments section for some online papers.

I'm still learning every single time I log on to this section. I had no idea how ignorant I was.

Trinity, there is nothing wrong with 'traditional roles' if they are chosen roles. I'm a feminist. I also wear make up, craft, bake, can't fix a puncture and hate taking the compost out. But those are all my choices. The problem is women traditionally didn't have choices when it came to money, education, child rearing.