Chris Huhne's (ex-) wife and career choices

[Abelia]

I read in today's Times that Chris Huhne's wife gave up her job as a senior civil servant at DBIS because of the conflict with him having a role in Cabinet. She did this in May 2010. In June 2010 it came out that he had been having an affair!! They have since split up.

So - woman with excellent job gained through hard work has to step down from it because her husband's new job trumps hers.

Man expects wife to change job because of his own promotion - is this down to wifely duty? Or is this taking turns at career chances?

On it's own this scenario raises interesting points about whose career comes first, why she had to step down for him etc.

BUT - he was also having his end away with another woman, while expecting his wife to compromise her own career options.

Now it's pretty clear that Vicky Pryce is talented and wasn't going to be unemployed because of this, although the article didn't say what job she moved to. She does still have a career, connections, her own income etc.

But this just makes my blood boil. Politician had affair, that's old news. But expecting your wife to leave her job, so you can have yours, while also cheating on her and then splitting up, so in fact there was no need for her to do so? Yet no-one seems to be commenting on this.

It's pretty normal in households for partners to discuss finances, careers, responsibilities and then make decisions about where the priorities lie. In less high-profile families the decision might be that the higher wage-earner keeps working and the lower wage-earner stays home with the kids. When you get to government cabinet minister posts the discussion is going to be more complex. Conflicts of interest rules are laid down in the terms of employment for civil servants and she would have been aware of that. Cabinet working hours are erratic. It's a big step for any family where one member works away from home for long periods and it can put pressure on a relationship. When Giles Brandreth wanted to run for MP his wife stipulated that he couldn't do so until the children had all gone off to college. And that's what he did.

Affairs can happen to anyone and cabinet ministers are no exception. She must feel annoyed that having made the sacrifices in order to enable him to take the post he then let her down quite so badly. But that's life.... No-one's business but theirs

The point I'm trying to make is, his job took precedence over hers, for whatever reason they agreed on, but he was cheating on her all along. When found out the marriage broke up (we're talking within weeks here) and so her sacrifice of her job was unneccessary. He had full information, she didn't and she was the one to give up her job.

As for not being anyone else's business, if you're going to be in Cabinet, with ambitions to be your party's leader, then it is other people's business.

I put it this in this topic rather than politics though as I was interested in the nature of the "sacrifice" when they are both high-flying individuals with plenty of career options open to them. It feels like she was shafted once on the job front and then again when it turned out that her sacrifice wasn't matched by his loyalty.

People cheat and wives and husbands are kept in the dark all the time. Yes, she probably would not have been such a supportive wife if she'd known what he was up to, and she would probably have made different decisions about her career if she'd been fully in the picture ... that's just stating the bleedin' obvious. And, having been around a few too many couples that have split up or had affairs or whatever, I have learned that there is always more than one side to the story and that it pays not to judge.

I know the 'personal is political' but it is very difficult to base a polical arguement on the choices of one family - especially as the facts are hearsay based on newspaper articles. Chris Huhne and his then wife made a decision and she may well regret it bitterly now. The decision also may not have been a choice made willingly for the good of the family but a fact of political life not a matter of regret as it was inevitable given the current set up in parliamnet - personal betrayal by Mr Huhne of his wife was a separate issue (unless he deliberately set out to destroy his wifes career as well as their marriage which seems unlikely).

I agree that it is usually the woman who makes the career sacrifices when children enter the equasion but while I have made career sacrifices for my family dh has made family sacrifices to pursue his career. Neither of us are entirely fulfilled by home or job and I intend to return to paid employment one day while he hopes to be able to reduce his hours and work closer to home in due course. Choice did not really come into it - necessity dictated that as our family grew we needed more space, also sudden and severe illness made moving nearer in-laws important, we couldn't afford a bigger house in London, but we did not want both of us commuting long distances for work while our children were very young. All these factors made giving up work (at least in the short term) necessary for the lower earning person (me!). I have been given the opportunity to spend time with my children and space to think about my future work, while dh remains a wage slave in the big smoke - I do not envy him that.

Maybe my working life will suffer as a result of this 'choice' but I cannot see that there was a better way to do it given exisiting circumstances - if I were the higher earner I would have stayed in employment but it would not have been by choice either.

He seems to be a cynical user of other people, if current newspaper stories are true.

The timing is atrocious though. She packs in her job and 1 month later finds out? What a kick in the teeth.