"you don't need a garden, you've got daughters"

[JumpJockey]

So says MIL on our search for a new house. Firstly, it's fine for her to say this, her garden is 8x the size of ours...

Secondly, apparently because we have 2 dds, we don't need outdoor space because "it's not as if you'll need to have space to play cricket or kick a ball around".

Any counter-arguments I can give her, apart from just sighing and saying Oh for heaven's sake woman? or is it not worth bothering to explain...?

Say to her "Well, as you won't be the one living in it, then it's not an issue for you, is it."

I guess. I just can't stand her implication that girls will sit indoors all day embroidering, whereas boys would be outside having fun. Not sure I want that sort of mindset being instilled in my daughters.

OMG I have three dds all on football teams. One is on a cricket team. We have no garden and it is hell. Tell her to get lost.

No sensible counter-argument, but as an aside, my DS would rather be inside embroidering than kicking a ball round the garden.

Say "Do girls not like to play with balls? Or trampolines? Or have races? Or grow flowers and veg?"

And then do this

Or laugh in her face and then say "Don't let my DDs catch you coming out with sexist claptrap like that please."

. I have no idea what you can tell her and I'm not sure it's worth the bother. Maybe comment how much your daughters love playing outside? My daughters uses the garden way more than my older son (and my son mostly uses it to draw with chalk - his art and name are all over the garden walls...).

Imply that she's about 100 years old, and feeble. "Girls play sport these days, MIL, times have changed since you were a timid little thing."

She knows this, of course, she's just trying to put you down.

You could mention that they need room in which to practise hobbling after you've bound their feet, and somewhere to swoon upon reading a moving love letter in later life.

Surely they need space to grow pretty flowers and host tea parties?

These sorts of comments tend to amuse rather than annoy me, with my 3 dds it's so blindingly obvious they aren't neat demure little things, that only really dumb people can say that in front of me.

I hope you pulled her up on it immediately. Or just treated it as a joke so she can see how you feel but won't be pinpointed as completely stupid.

It was dh on the phone to her last night, he just went "Well we want a big garden anyway" but she's the kind of person to bring something like that up over and over. Will certainly let her know that dd's first cry in the morning is "want to go in the garden" :) dd1 2.5, dd2 4 months so she's not that bothered yet...

She has 3 boys and one girl so maybe sil's fondness for drawing and general indoor activities has set her mind.

Or maybe MIL disliked going out in the garden so encouraged SIL to draw and do indoor activities?

As for what to say? Ummm "Oh we need a big garden for the hot-tub for our swingers parties"

"We also won't be needing a guest room as we have recently fallen out with MIL"

[gein]

Who on earth would imagine that any family would look for a house without children?

Gardening?
Growing some fruit and veg?
Sitting outside getting some fresh air?
Sitting out and enjoying the scent / flowers?
Having bird feeders and watching the birds?
Having a cat? (prob not compatible with the previous activity but still!)
Having a BBQ?

Surely the vast majority of people would like some outdoors space? Irrespective of what sex their children are, or indeed if they even have any?

Is she quite quite mad???

Hahahahaa a house without a garden

A house without children is what i am currently yearning for

As someone who has just moved the swings for the nth time because of the wear on the grass (yes, DD, I'm looking at you and your friends), I'd like a garden without children.

Yes they need a garden to grow flowers for pressing and butterfly watching.

I have two DS both of whom would rather pull out their teeth than play in the garden.

Although I thought growing veg might interest them, turns out they like growing flowers! at least they are not knocking heads off playing football

I looked at the title of this thread and thought 'in what way would having daughters substitute for the pleasure I get from gardening?'. My dd spends more time in our garden than my ds, although even she has been known to turn down trips to the garden centre.

I wondering your MIL is just aiming to annoy?

My parents left developing their garden until they had their third child saying, if it's another dd we will build flower beds and path, if ds, leave a bigger lawn. Dd3 kicked a football all over their lovely flowerbeds and still plays at 36!!!!

"why, it's for the menstrual hut, of course. How else could I properly banish them when they get the curse ?"

@ menstrual hut!

Have a DS and DD - have a decent sized garden. Neither play in it - too busy exploring the wood, fields and streams, especially in the school holidays when they become feral.

Sounds idyllic Linden