I know it was a joke but it's still pissed me off!

[FreudianSlipOnACrown]

at a parent and toddler class today, the teacher (who incidentally is the only male I have ever personally met in this type of role) was asking all the mums what their DCs' favourite toys were. Usual stuff came up, cars, teddy bears etc.

Then me and another mum said our DSs' favourite toys are a buggy and a tea set respectively.

Cue much indignation from the teacher and a very over the top "Oh dear I'm worried about you boys now, I think we will have to talk to your mummies!"

Eh?!

I did ask him if he ever pushes a buggy and he said yes...

You're right. It's not funny.

Ds once had a lot of fun playing with a very pink and shiny toy kitchen at his friend's house. He'd have been about 2 probably.

His friend's granny was there and said "I'd be worried about that if it were my son".

Except she wasn't joking. Nobber.

What do they mean? What's the funny joke? Are they implying that the child might have caught the gay? Because that's what they are implying

If your child plays with toys usually reserved for the opposite gender then they will want to have sex with their own gender when they grow up. Which would be dreadful. You don't want that to happen. Ha. Ha. Ha. Is the subtext.

Yes that's the impression I got.

I was hoping that as he's been brave enough to set up his own business running a very successful group in what is a heavily female-dominated career, he'd be a bit more enlightened!

BIL made similar comments about my ds's my reply was "I'm surprised it makes you uncomfortable you seem to get on so well with xxxx (family member) and they are gay"

There was a lovely tumblweed moment at that particular family gathering

He was probably worried their genitals might whither and fall off. I've seen it happen. Simply from wearing pink socks.

Yeah I have been annoyed recently at family and friends reactions to my 4 YO DS having red toenails. I did mine and he wanted his done. Lots of raised eyebrows and "are you sure that is a good idea" type comments. Seriously I don't think he is going to become a transvestite because of this!

A woman I know really does think that about her son. She really does think that if he plays with a doll he will become gay. I didn't know where to start - the homophobia or sexism?

Gosh, damn right to be pissed off! I think I'd have to say something. Do you feel able to?

EYFS Aspects of Knowledge and Understanding of the World

Knowledge and Understanding of the World is made up of the following aspects:

Exploration and Investigation - is about how children investigate objects and materials and their properties, learn about change and patterns, similarities and differences, and question how and why things work.

Boys and girls should investigate buggys and tea sets. Has he never pushed a buggy or made tea ?

Get him a copy of Delusions of Gender!

I met a granny with her DGS at toddler group who was worrying about her DGS playing with the toy kitchen and worrying about the little girls (including my DD) playing with the motorbikes. I said 'Yes, it's fab to see them all playing with all the toys isn't it' and she went quiet. It is sad to see though, especially when some parents really don't let them play with what they actually want to play with.

Does he think he's got something to prove because he's in a female-dominated profession?

In any case, it's hugely inappropriate and very annoying. Did you discuss it with him - in addition to your instant response, I mean?

And isn't it amazing how these kind of comments get made, and there is no connection whatsoever to the fact that girls have "naturally evolved" to like pink and dolls and kitchens, and boys to like blue and machines etc?

If it was so natural, why the need for constant reinforcement I wonder?

dd1 is 5 and has a couple of boy friends who like nothing better than coming round to ours to put on her princess dresses and sparkly clips in their hair. Their mothers have said to me, giggling nervously, "Oh, my husband won't like this" or "We'll keep this a secret from Daddy!".

wtf. Until I get an explicit request to the contrary, I will continue seeing my house as a safe haven for boys who want to enjoy sparkly shit. I refuse to treat it as a great joke, tease them, or engage in gigglefests with their mums about how naughty we are to let them do something so transgressive.

If another child starts saying, "You look like a girl", my line is either: "No he doesn't, he looks like a boy in a princess dress" (was it Spidermama or Blu's ds who came up with that line?) or, "He looks supercool, like Ziggy Stardust!" Then they all want to know who Ziggy Stardust is, which changes the subject nicely.

My dad has pissed me off recently by saying he's pleased that DS likes cars, because "he's a proper little boy."
DB said, "but what about his pram and baby?" to which DF replied, "well, that's his mother's influence."

Elephants - because obviously it is natural and necessary for men and their representatives to tell us what to bloody do. All the time.

It wasn't a joke.

He really shouldn't be doing that job with an attitude like that.

Can you write some sort of complain letter?

"Does he think he's got something to prove because he's in a female-dominated profession?"

On that note; how does he survive in a female-dominated profession with attitudes like that? Most of the female teachers I know would have torn him apart for being so sexist.

Not all, sadly, but that is another big problem.

Really annoying when someone makes a horrible sexist joke and they say you've got no sense of humour because you can't dredge up a smile!

I will laugh...when it's funny.

I've been thinking about buying ds a kitchen set.. I think it'll be great for him! I'll just joke back & say 'don't worry he won't turn into a lesbian'

My mil genuinely wanted to know why I bought my DS a pink football.

She looked really perplexed about it--but not in a good way.