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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Feminist analysis of the royal wedding

593 replies

DontdoitKatie · 29/04/2011 11:08

This is one of the times when you realise how very lonely seeing things through a feminist lens can make you.

Patriarchy in all its glory.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 30/04/2011 13:04

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StewieGriffinsMom · 30/04/2011 13:07

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hocuspontas · 30/04/2011 13:47

I think it was a great opportunity missed. We are possibly not going to see another wedding on this scale in our lifetime watched by billions. How hard would it have been to say 'husband and wife'? How easy to not say anything instead of 'Who giveth this woman?'. Small steps I know but would have been in the right direction.

garlicbutter · 30/04/2011 13:48

Just re: best man ... If some of you missed Lucy Ash's TV film about bride kidnapping in Chechnya, here's a link to the info. It used to be traditional all over the place - I don't know about mainland UK (probably) but do know it was popular in the Channel islands.

Not commenting on yesterday's wedding as I only watched 7 minutes of it and thought, "At least it's not as squirm-making as Chas & Di". Nice frock.

sakura · 30/04/2011 13:54

I suppose at first glance the femicide= raising women's status comes from the idea that if there are less females in society overall, perhaps women will be valued more.
...which is a POV that displays a shocking ignorance of how patriarchy's work, and what makes men brought up in a patriarchy tick.

Instead of "valuing women more", rape goes up because every man believes he's entitled to stick his dick in a woman. IF there isn't a woman around to consent to sex, then rape is the logical next step.

The thought of NOT having the right to penetrate a woman, and that if there ain't enough women you'll just have to put up without, is simply too shocking for your average male mind under patriarchy.
...hence the booming worldwide prostitution industry.

StewieGriffinsMom · 30/04/2011 13:59

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jugglingjo · 30/04/2011 18:59

Getting back to the wedding. I have to admit I did enjoy watching it all on telly.

  • I need those L plates they had on their going away car for my understanding of feminism !
In my defense I think it's OK to celebrate our loving relationships with others. But I do have lots of issues with it all bubbling away beneath the surface ... Talk about "soon we will see the dress" - what about Kate, the person in it ! The inequality between the two families. No role to speak of for the bride's mother. A lot of religion that I'm not sure they really believe, but had to acquiese to. "Who gives this woman", the veil, walking up the aisle with one man and back with her husband ... Oh and " I declare that they be man and wife together " How is that fair !! (cf. "husband and wife") All bridesmaids, except Pippa, were from his side of family, as were page boys.

In general I think it's terrible the way women entering this royal family have been treated in our generation.
Why wasn't Fergie there as an Aunt of the boys, she could have sat with Spencer family Aunts and Uncles if not with her own two girls and Prince Andrew ?
( Also think Labour prime ministers should have been there and not just the Tory ones, but that's another matter. )

Am hopeful though that this couple may bring about some slow modernisation of the monarchy. And hope they do love and respect each other.
Kate and Pippa seem to be bright, capable, and lovely women !
Just hope they get the recognition they deserve, and that Kate is able to develop her role alongside William in a positive and equal way !

ChristinedePizan · 30/04/2011 19:07

Oh I am glad to see this thread. I enjoyed watching the wedding but as a sort of show of pageantry rather than anything else. I recorded it, certainly didn't listen to any of the religious guff which would have really pissed me off. I was hugely disappointed that he isn't wearing a ring, absolutely loathe that tradition that only women wear rings.

Coverage was of course hugely sexist but then formal weddings are aren't they?

Beachcomber · 30/04/2011 19:30

Slight tangent but this is so true;

"also the brilliant fact that French women were actively involved in the underground and were numerically far more successful at rescuing and saving British airmen and Jewish children but were completely ignored when the French government handed out medals for heroism"

DH's grandmother experienced exactly this and went on to set up a feminist group after the war as a result.

Very interesting about the best man's role - am away to read links.

Bue · 30/04/2011 20:09

I will admit to loving the whole pageant, but the service disappointed me. Why couldn't they use the modern version of the service? All that "who giveth this woman" malarky - it didn't sit right at all. And why were Harry and Michael up there during the vows but no Pippa in sight? Must admit I've never seen that at any "normal" church wedding I've been to before. It was all a bit screamingly patriarchal.

AliceWorld · 30/04/2011 20:17

jugglingjo - throw away the L plates, spot on Grin

I have not seen a single bit of the royal wedding, so appreciate the commentary. And I can think of no better one than here.

JoanofArgos · 30/04/2011 20:24

Well. I think it's tragic and shit that we're still so keen to hear about people becoming 'man and wife' and judging women for their hats and their fat and all that... I'm also torn because I think - well, if you want to be royal and rich and live on other people's taxes so you can be wealthy and do a spot of waving now and again - well, that's out-dated and old-fashioned and wrong, so have yourself a bundle of the appropriate gender politics from the time when any of that was remotely appropriate, and enjoy.

Animation · 30/04/2011 20:48

I am also glad to see this thread. I enjoyed the wedding, I also like the romance and the dresses.

But patriarchy is there ALL to see.

-Only men conducting the service - (dressed in finery)

  • There were a couple of nuns (dressed modestly in grey) just sat there.
  • Dad gives away the daughter.
  • Dad and best man up front
  • Mum and chief bridesmaid out of sight
  • Fergie - their auntie not there
  • Only bride gets the ring
  • Only boys in the choir
  • Only men gave a reading
  • BBC main anchorman - is a man.......
SybilBeddows · 30/04/2011 20:51

re Fergie not being there, there was a thread about this - in fact probably two Confused -and someone pointed out that Princess Anne's ex-husband also wasn't there, so this may not be an issue.

SybilBeddows · 30/04/2011 21:08

I've just seen a post on another thread talking about the little bridesmaids:

'I think the wee scowly one is a feminist. That's why she's cross.'
Grin

Animation · 30/04/2011 21:11

I think it's a feminist issue. Fergie is their auntie and was a good friend of Diana's, she's also the mother of two daughers who are next in line to the throne after William and Harry, and who need her support. She should have been invited for those reasons alone. On top of that she is still discriminated against for her sins - and still ostracised and punished - because she is a women. If Charles' conduct can be overlooked or forgiven then so should Fergies.

PiaThreeTimes · 30/04/2011 21:12

Sorry if this has already been mentioned, but Carole Middleton is labelled as "Mrs Michael Middleton" on the official pics. Ugh.

SybilBeddows · 30/04/2011 21:13

you are right about her ostracism by the Queen for doing something that several male members of the family have done too. Definite double standard.

LynetteScavo · 30/04/2011 21:15

Maybe William didn't want to invite her.

Women in their 20's don't need their mother to go to a wedding with them, do they?

SybilBeddows · 30/04/2011 21:15

ugh indeed Pia.

and has it been mentioned on this thread that KM will officially be Princess William of Wales, like Princess Michael of Kent?

not surprisingly though she's going to call herself the Duchess of Cambridge....

PiaThreeTimes · 30/04/2011 21:17

Of course, there's also Huw what's-his-name's comment about every little girl dreams of being a Princess. Nice commentary from the BBC there.

PiaThreeTimes · 30/04/2011 21:20

Princess William of Wales??? What a load of rubbish. How dare they treat women like this?!

I'm relatively new to MN, and it's so refreshing to read this thread. I've always thought these things about wedding ceremonies in general, but nobody ever seems to understand where I'm coming from. I talk to my DP about the sexism inherent in the traditional wedding ceremony, and he just says "It's nice though, innit?" Aagh!

LynetteScavo · 30/04/2011 21:33

And seriously, has no one mentioned that William drove the Aston Martin, and not Kate? I thought people would be up in arms about that.

Animation · 30/04/2011 21:39

If Beatrice and Eugenie did want their mum there - do they have a say?

Is it respectful to them that their mum isn't there because she's the scapegoat of the family?

Has William's opinion of Fergie been influenced by the male Royals?

PiaThreeTimes · 30/04/2011 21:40

I was annoyed that they weren't wearing seatbelts, but the police let 'em drive on!

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