Ageism

[garlicbutter]

I'm 56. I will be a feminist (my brand) until I die, but I urgently need to admit that ageism is an equally big concern for me now, and will get a whole lot bigger very fast. Today I helped a little old lady - no, she was tiny! - with her shopping walker. Only she didn't want any help, she just wanted a small chat. I already know how she feels - marginalised, impoverished, ignored, infirm ... and blamed by younger folk for all her ills. I'll be sharing her feelings all the more acutely very soon.

I know this isn't strictly relevant to the board, but where else can I put it? And, of course, it is worse for little old ladies than for little old men.

i'm 40. on the resisting femininity thread, i've been pondering not colouring my (much) grey hair. as a feminist, i think i even pondered that i didn't feel ready to take on the battle against ageism as well (despite the 'worse for little old ladies than little old men' thing) even though the whole colouring thing is definitely pandering to the 'women must look youthful' rule.

so i'm pondering ageing too.

at the moment i have a choice. but the time will come when there is no choice to be made.

i shall wear purple etc.

oo. i just googled jenny joseph again as i haven't read the full poem in ages. it always reminds me of my 'other mother' who died four years ago from bowel cancer. and i've discovered that there apparently exists a whole movement of 'red hatters' trying to empower mature women and rescue themselves from invisibility...

i think i might have to join the red hat society in due course... off to read more

www.redhatsociety.com/aboutus/Legacy.html

can't see any murmur of 'feminism' per se, but i have never even heard of them at all...

I think it is absolutely a feminist issue. The fact older/elderly women are not valued - after years of providing service to their families, there is no respect for their experience, knowledge, needs - and although there a few who do it, no real context for women to age without becoming invisible.

oh sorry - xpost !

I agree it is definitely worse for women to get old, but I see that its not great for men either. We have a constant stream of highly skilled 50 something men on temp contracts because they are simply unable to get permanent work at that age. Interestingly there are no female temps ever employed in my line of work.

garlicbutter did the women you met feel "blamed by younger folk for all her ills"?? I wasn't aware that was how older women usually feel?

Sorry, I meant for all their ills - you know, it's older people's fault the young can't get a job, they have to pay taxes because so many other citizens have the temerity to get old & need support, old people get in the way, shouldn't be allowed to drive or use mobility scooters, etc, etc. The stream of anti-age invenctive is quite shocking when you start noticing it. And grossly, grossly unfair not to mention short-sighted: will these whingeing youngsters never get old?

I'm liking the posts above - thanks. Love the Red Hatters! Good for Ms Joseph

I was looking forward to becoming invisible - it's taken far longer than I expected, but I am finding it quite liberating. However, I chose to work online specifically because clients don't have to see me & pre-judge me accordingly. I think that's a sad state of affairs.

I could go on, but am hoping dialogue will continue as I definitely need to clarify my ideas - a lot, and quickly.

There is definitely something to be said for invisibility (unless you are being overlooked in a queue). It means that at last one can be free from the pressure to conform. And it is hugely liberating. However, the real benefits seem really to kick in after one has retired. My advice to any woman is to make sure she has a pension of her own. It's no good hoping the patriarchy will help you when you're old, because it won't.

No, I didn't cause the current economic meltdown either. Wasn't my generation who spent money it hadn't got on stuff it didn't need. But by God I'm paying the price for it.

Unfortunately the patriarchy robbed me of my pension before it materialised! I'm stuck with working to the day I die - invisibly and unwanted, but somehow.