What's the solution to women ending up in unequal relationships?

[darleneconnor]

Sooooooo many threads on here.

Same story. All fine and dandy at first. Both partners believe in 'equality'.

Then she has a baby, goes on maternity leave and all that equality flies out the window. His life continues as before (work, leisure) hers is mindnumbing drudgery. She does all the housework, he keeps all the money.

Are we kidding ourselves that things have changed that much since the 50s?

(PS I know not all relationships are like this, but it isn't exactly uncommon)

What do you say to someone who's in this situation or heading that way? (At least without looking like a man-hater or jealous)

I really am despairing!!!

Having said that, I did have DH up the other day when I was moaning about how much housework there is that needs doing and he responded "I'll help you with it" - that comment underlined that while he talks the "equal" talk, he still views housework as 'mine', that he 'helps' with, rather than owns an equal share.

Or the priceless "but I'm hardly in the house as I'm at work all day, most of it's not my mess" - your children are in the house all day with me, are they mostly not your children or are you going to pull your damn weight in helping me clear up?!

I'm gonna get flamed here but its the truth

as far as sons go parents really need to step up their game and of course daughters.

alot of chauvinist men have *i'm generalising here
flat doormat mothers and lazy beligerant fathers, and of course thing this is then normal.
I have this issue with my inlaws.