Travelling with DCs with different names

[BlingLoving]

I wasn't sure where to put this , so putting it here.

My family are very concerned as I did not take DH's name when we got married but DS will have his surname. They are convinced I will not be able to travel with DS. I was prepared for this level of frustration so had assumed I'd have to keep a copy of my marriage certificate and possibly DS's birth certificate on me when travelling, but my parents (paranoid? Never) have heard that a friend who was travelling with her DC AND Her husband STILL had a problem and they are panicking.

Any thoughts/comments? My mother would like me to simply change my n ame as she thinks that would be easier. Her incredibly stupid helpful suggestion was that I change my name on just my passport for convenience. She didn't know how to respond to my, "for a start, that is not convenient and secondly I'm not changing my name simply to reinforce the patronising patriachy of people at customs."

Interesting thread. My dcs have my surname as a middle name on their passports, but dh's surname. I did not change my name when we got married. I have not travelled alone, but we did queue up at passport control in Austria and Switzerland separately. Me with dd and dh with ds, for no particular reason. Both times they questionned me about dd, and started to say I should have a letter, but calmed down when I pointed out my name in her passport. I was a bit about it, as there is no legal need for dc to have the same surname as parents, and UK didn't seem to have a problem.
If this is going to become a more common occurrence for any parent travelling without their other half, it needs to be far more widely advertised and flagged up by airlines.

In many european countries when you get married you don't take your husbands surname - so I travel alone regularly with the dds who have a different surname to mine. They have Italian ID cards and I have a British passport- I was asked once ( in 6 years approx 3 trips a year) to show a birth certificate. HOWEVER what the dds have on their ID cards is a line saying that they can be escorted by and then it says my name and dh name. What I think is a very sensible idea. We could have added g parents etc if needed.
I have been told that when they are older I should paperclip a copy of birth certificate in the passport just incase.

When my DD was younger, customer told me I ought to take a copy of her birth certificate with me when I travelled with her. They said it is not a problem now that she is older (6.5) as she is capable (and oh, so willing!) to speak for herself if questioned!

Mine are both older and perfectly capable of talking for themselves, but I was still asked for birth certificates by immigration control at checkin for the Eurostar last summer when they were 12 and 7.

I'm not married and DCs don't have my surname. Had a problem (and a big lecture) going into Switzerland because I only had their passports and no birth certificate. Possibly complicated by the fact that they're mixed race and I'm white. Customs man kept saying 'How do I know they're yours' over and over again and I seriously thought he wasn't going to let us in. thankfully five mins of both boys constantly interrupting with 'Mummy' (first time I've appreciated them interrupting)eventually got through to him and he let us through.

The next time I took their birth certificates and no one made any comment so I do think a lot of it can depend on who you're dealing with and what side of bed they got out of that morning.

In future I will always take birth certificates if not travelling with DP. I would be pretty annoyed if they wanted a letter from him giving me 'permission' to take them abroad esp. as he doesn't have PR for the eldest!

The letter from partner when you travel alone, btw, is so that in case of divorce/ split parents one can't take the children away to a different country (and escape legal rights of country they're coming from, iyswim).

(Over here, if either parent travels alone you need a special notarized letter - official form. They are very strict.)

I don't know if this is relevant, but I know of a family who all share the same surname and still get problems with immigration. The parents are 1 UK / 1 US citizens and children have dual nationality (or whatever the term is.) The UK parent can get hassle if taking UK/US children into or out of the US if the US parent isn't there. Lots of "hwy do you come here so often?" as well as qs about the children. I don't think it's as bad in the UK but depends on the individual customs official. Other countries are variable. I know this is a different situation but it does highlight that having the same surname does not end all immigration issues.

My DCs dont have my surname - it is one of their middle names though - never had any problems - travelled a lot as a familiy - not loads on our own