Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

I kind of know what you mean LRD. What I find interesting is that the hair-removers are so angry and agressive in their posts.

The thing that worries me about hair removal is how it has moved on. When I was young legs and arm pits was about it....(pubes meant you were racey ;0) but a friend was reading a mag where it calimed all women under 50 did it and it was a sure sign you were over 50 if you didn't and I was like - is that true? (have to say it is currently an interesting issue for her as she has just been through chemo and lost the lot....)

LRD - Eppur si muove (-ere/-are would be an infinitive)

I have had one experience of a male partner attempting to police my hair removal. He even brought me a packet of razors and said "You really should shave so you look like other girls." I told him to go and find one of those other girls if that's what he liked. For some reason it was not a relationship destined to last...

My DH likes my hairy legs - he likes running his hands up and down! And my leg hair is practically curly!

Thanks alex. Brain scrambled.

I had a partner once who teased me about my hairy arms - but I'm quite fond of them myself.

Black I agree with you about it moving on.

I come at all of this from a slightly odd angle, as my mum is a very hairy women who's never shaved her legs or anything else, who has a luxuriant mustache and curly chin hairs and so on. It's not I think a feminist statement - she wouldn't call herself a feminist - it's more she thinks it's vanity to do anything about it. I'm very conscious that removing hair is something I do because I actively don't want to look ungroomed like her, because I know she is quite sad and angry about the way she looks. And I'd argue that she is actually more crushed by society's attitudes towards femininity, because I feel as if I have the choice to do all these non-permanent things to my body hair, and she - for whatever reason - doesn't feel that and feels she's stuck with a body that's irredeemably ugly by social standards.

I find that really sad, and it'd be naive to think a Bic razor would solve all her hangups - but equally naive to think that her hairiness is a sign she's comfortable and relaxed with that side of herself.

Sorry, I'm meandering in my thoughts here and it probably just boils down to some startling profundity along the lines of 'complex, innit'.

Engelbert, you skived hetero class?!

I bet you were behind the bikesheds for childcare and cookery lessons too, weren't you? Tut tut.

Incidentally, my school - in the late 90s - genuinely did run a childcare and cookery class. It was for those who scored less than 70% in their Latin exams and, despite the above evidence, I did manage that so never got to go to one.

I like my DH's hairy legs, but mine are much hairier than his.

Er, Blackduck, I am a "hair remover" :o and I think you are all smashing. I think there is a pretty long continuum between "I remove my hair and so should you, or you are bad bad ladies" and being able/confident enough to let it grow in places where the public will see it.

Mind you, I only do pits and legs. I have never had a partner who has minded me having hairy legs, when I don't shave them (i.e. in the winter, or when I CBA). To be honest it would be a bit rich, given that men's leg hair is usually pretty furry :)

LOLOL @ the idea that childcare and cookery was for people who were no good at Latin!
And what if they had wanted to put on an Apician banquet, eh? They'd have been in a bit of a pickle then, wouldn't they?

Sorry Elephants - not directed at you, just the 'you all smell, are ugly and lazy' brigade....always exceptions that prove the rule :)

To pinch LRD's line 'complex, innit'

I went to the beach with my hairy legs on display last year. Not for long though, as I'm not really a beach person, I mainly went for the children's benefit.

The public saw. So what? Nobody cared. And why should I care what a load of random strangers think, anyway?

[I love the idea of hetero class. I'm just pondering what should be on the curriculum...]

Engelbert - interesting strategy - surprised it hasn't caught on :)

oh but Home Ec had stopped being cooking by then, it had become designing bloody pizza boxes. It was proper cookery in my day though.

Proper cookery in my day too (steamed puddings, scones and livid green gooseberry fool....)

designing pizza boxes? I clearly went to the wrong school!

I clearly should have gone to hetero class. They could have taught me how to be subservient and charming to my husband, and not let the poor man make his own meals and clean his own home. Sigh.

seth, trust me, we did proper cookery. We all had to do three years making stuff like swiss rolls and lasagne and so on ... I think they carried on with the same stuff when we did Latin.

I suspect, in retrospect, that it wasn't so much we Latinists were thought to be career-girls-in-training, as that the Latin would have sufficient prophylactic effect for us not to need the childcare lessons for quite some while.

hetero class is taught in the breaks and lunchtimes by the group of girls in the class who consider themselves more mature than everyone else.

which was why Carmina's 'childlike' comment was so funny.

[having visions of saying 'alea jacta est' to dh on making the first moves to see if it puts him off]

[or perhaps I should try saying 'cave infantium' as a method of birth control...]

I think it's 'Greek love' you have to worry about.

Come to think, do classical statues have pubic hair? I can't remember that they do - and Romans enjoyed scraping at themselves which I guess would remove hair.

Not sure what relevance this is, but ds is adament that he doesn't want to be hairy (like daddy) when he grows up.....poor lad...he is going to be so disappointed!