Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

CB is worth her weight in gold for the comedy value!!

I usually end up slicing myself on the few occasions I have shaved my legs.....

I am also grey (been going grey since I was about 14...)...really no hope for me is there :)

LOLOLOLOL at Vezzie's experiment.

I'm getting a grey streak too - I love it though and don't want to get rid of it. And I'm only 28...

I am really ashamed but I am so used to painting my toenails that the sight of them without looks really horrible to me now. Yet I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to go without nail varnish on my toenails (never bother on my fingernails).

It is hard though and I realise that I am a complete product of the beauty industry's brainwashing - except for now in my tracksuit and messed up hair and no make up....

Thought this facebook group may be of interest!

www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=119684894719876

Maybe CB is evolving herself out of the gene pool by only being attracted to people who smell of Old Spice or Lynx?

Are curls girly and feminine? I thought having your hair straightened was the thing nowadays. My hair is naturally curly, and when it's cut very short it sticks out at odd angles and I look like a hedgehog.

enjoying lurking on this thread, as a non particularly confident, not at all feminine woman, it's prompting me to think about how much of what I do to affect my appearance is down to how I want others to perceive me as conforming (to a female ideal).

sAf, I have done this 3 or 4 times now (shaved, or cropped long curly hair). I've never been particularly girly/feminine (I was mistaken for a bloke when 8 months pregnant with ds1, even with long hair), but the curls are somehow part of my identity. then it all gets too long or too much work, and I chop it off again. very liberating, I agree! I used to wonder which was the "real me" - long or short, now I've accepted it as a natural cycle.

I think the times I've started growing it have tended to be sparked by a desire to look more like a woman though... food for thought

Just when I thought mumsnet was getting a bit boring this thread appears, thank you all for literally making me laugh out loud.

'fine, have hairy armpits just don't sit opposite me in starbucks', and Vezzie's Galileo experiment are classics

I rarely shave anywhere....I just hate it and have sensitive skin. A lot of it though is due to a bitterness about HAVING to do it as a younger woman.

I never wear a bra and sometimes I don't even wear knickers.

I just dont care what anyone thinks....so my legs are hairy? They're still nice legs. My DH has no opinion....he is happy whatever I choose.

I'm glad this thread was begun. I hope other women enjoy the freedom of not having to scrape the tender skin of their bikini areas anymore!

well done! at least you've got the weekend to work it out.

I completely believe that women use femininity to dull the sting of misogyny. So for example, today I had to take DD to the doctor. I put on a nice scarf, and I looked "nice" , not to seduce the doctor, but so that he'd treat me as a human being. Last week I also went to the doctor and as I don't shave my pubes and he had to do a stomach check I remember thinking "shit, I hope he's not too repulsed" . And the thing is, he probably was repulsed. ANd having someone in power being repulsed by you is not a safe feeling at all . IN fact it feels dangerous. So women limit the danger to them, under patriarchy, by playing the game. So not playing the femininity card is a very brave step IMVHO

Well said Sakura.

I agree sakura, it's playing the game by their rules so you can get by in peace!

And the thing is, he probably was repulsed.

You think he was? Is that the expectation women have of men these days, that pubic hair (or armpit hair or leg hair) repulses them?

What a sad and sorry state of affairs if so.

That's a scary thought, Sakura. But I think you're right. It's sort of acquiescence to the patriarchal ideals in exchange for being treated like a person.

It's such a fine line though - if you don't shave and have shaved hair, you don't get respect; if you go totally the other way with fake tan and fake boobs, you don't get respect... basically we're onto a losing thing by trying to conform because it's never REALLY going to get us equality.

Mymblesso, sadly I don't make the rules, but I have to know what the rules are to survive in a patriarchy. It means that if I break them I'm doing so consciously.
you know, I never even thought about my pubes until I got a funny vibe from the doctor. he was about my age. He went into great detail about how I needed to wash my hands as that was why I was now sick My kids were running around his legs absolutely fine,but he couldn't shake off the pubes=dirty feeling and his bedside manner spoke volumes