a couple of things (sorry I'm aware the thread has moved on somewhat) but...
"girls are encouraged to put others first, to be gentle, to play quietly, to think of their appearance and how they come across to others to a degree that boys often aren't."
actually I (a PFB son) was also encouraged to do these things, to varying degrees of success (fussy about my appearance I ain't! 
) This probably says very good things about my mother, and may have laid the groundwork for my identifying with feminism later in life. However, my point is:
a) it's not just girls
b) it's probably not all girls - I've met several who didn't have such an upbringing
c) most of these are, to my mind, not bad thing. well, certainly the put others first (to an extent) and be gentle bits. So, is this kind of "training" something you'd want to get rid off?
Re: Islam I've been doing a lot of reading about Islam lately, from various angles (I'd really recommend the Oxford University Press "a Very Short Introduction to the Koran" for anyone wanting a starting point). I'm currently reading Geraldine Brooks Nine Parts of Desire. her view, obviously not one that would be widely shared in the Islamic view, is that the justification for the hijab comes from one line of the Koran, which states that "you must speak to the prophet's wives from behind the curtain" - it's very specific (in who it applies to) but unspecific as to how (what counts as a curtain?).
So in the detail (at least in this respect) Islam is not as restrictive as it is in the application; apparently it was the third Caliph (Omar) who applied many of the restrictions on women that Islam is known for, while many others (child-brides, etc) existed pre-Islam. Not that I'm justifying these practices, but it reinforces the point made above I think about how religious texts are simple another set of tools that are twisted to serve those in power, regardless of what they actually say