Sexism in the workplace

[LilBB]

After the sacking of Sky Sports presenter for sexism I'm interested to know if people have encountered sexism at work. I have and can't imagine I'm alone. However I've never spoken out about it. My bosses boss regularly 'jokes' about not employing women of chil bearing age. My previous boss threatened to remove flex time privileges of I did not commit to working til a certain time which I couldn't do as I was unsure about childcare arrangements. Didn't threaten the men with this even though they didn't want to commit either. I've also been asked if I was planning children in a job interview. A colleague of mine takes her wedding ring off in interviews so they won't think shes about to have kids (not sure if she's being a bit irrational but pretty certain no men feel the need to do this).

So much. Where do I start?

My mum was telling me the other day about a male colleague who used to grope all the girls in the office so they would all avoid him. When I expressed my horror that they put up with this, she became defensive and went on about how he didn't mean any harm. That's ok then.

My worst was having to accompany groups of Asian men for days on end as they visited businesses and factories in the area when I worked for a regional development agency. In the evenings we'd take them out for dinner. One evening, the word went round that I was also the after hours entertainment. I had about 7 drunk Japanese men all saying hopefully, "you go to bed with us at hotel after meal?"

I had to fend them off and tell them that's not what I was there for whilst my middle aged boss sat there laughing.

my boss told me if the hiring was up to him, he'd never hire a woman of child bearing age.

Apart from that it's subtler, ie neither of the men in the office make the cuppas or wash the cups. I asked one of them to do it once, as I was busy and he had nothing to do, the look of shock on his face was almost amusing.

Whilst I worked there they also used to ask all the women to take turns covering the reception whenever our receptionist was ill. They didn't ask the men who were on the same grade as us. When we complained, we were given some rubbish excuse.

Basically they didn't think men should sit on the reception because it's women's work but couldn't ever tell us that's what they thought.

Oh, and one regional development agency would be asked to supply prostitutes for visiting Japanese men. Out of taxpayers' money. Not the one I worked for, I hasten to add.

This was about ten years ago.

Oh yes.

For the last three years, I've worked as a freelance/consultant accountant, so I can work around my children.

I was with a client (a self-employed businessman) one evening, and a friend of his called round, and I heard my client say "you need an accountant don't you, well come and meet mine."

My client walked in with his friend, who took one look at me and then looked at my client and said, "a female accountant, I don't think so." Then he looked back at me and said, "but if I need a cleaner any time soon, I'll let you know."

My client was mortified, and I didn't need to say anything back to this friend of his, as he said it all.

I laughed it off with my client (after the man had left), as I didn't want my client to feel bad, as it wasn't his fault that his friend was stuck in the dark ages. However, when I got home I had a real rant about it to my DH, as I just couldn't believe anyone would be so blatantly sexist. I know people think these things, but to actually come out with it like that, it was shocking.

My old company was one of those where loads of women come in at junior levels, yet there were only two women on the board (of about 14 people) by the time I left, and one of those was there as a consultant and didn't actually work for the company.

Sleeping with the big boss was a prerequisite for being a woman in senior management. I hate this stereotype as much as anyone but it was true that the only women who got put in charge of departments were ones that the CEO had shagged/continued to shag. And let me tell you, he was a fat, ugly, whinging baby of a man.

We used to host networking events and all the younger women (20s) were made to "meet and greet" at the door, and direct people to different areas. This of course meant that we didn't get to network at all. When I asked why [man at same level] couldn't take his turn so some of us could go and join in, I was told by female sub-boss that girls look nicer on the doors and you "have to" have them there to welcome people.

Men who wouldn't make tea ever. I organised a tea-strike

Um...sure I'll think of more.

When I had my return to work interview after maternity leave I was told that my career was over and the quicker I accepted it the better. They don't like women who have returned after maternity as generally their minds are on other things. Off the record of course.

I have been asked at interview when I intended to have children.

I have been told not to bother to apply for traditional male dominated roles within my job as "they already have their quota for females".

I have been physically pulled out of a situation by a manager from a role I was equally qualified and physically equipped to deal with. ("might as well have the men up front").

Too many more to mention, tbh.

Oh yes I had forgotten some. The boss who used to tickle the women and comment on their bras if they were slightly visible under a blouse. Also told after I returned from maternity leave that I would not be considered for a promotion as I was no longer flexible enough. Even though I was more flexible hours wise than the man who got it!!

The only sexism I have experienced in recent memory was one appalling man from work in the pub one night. I regret deeply not taking him to HR afterwards (it was only words, no inappropriate actions) as at the time I thought he was a contractor so assumed nothing would be done. Turns out he is a permie and I could have had his sorry arse on probation if nothing else.

I was actually talking about the football case in the pub tonight, as I'm sure many people were. I work in a predominantly male environment, I was out with two men. But this is the public sector and thus very different, in general, from your experiences. Man 1 was making the case for "it was just banter" but owned up to the fact he hadn't actually heard the recording. Man 2 and I made the case that, given context is vitally important, having heard the recording, it was obvious the person was not joking when he said the linesman didn't understand the offside rule. I don't understand the offside rule but it isn't my job to. I am quite certain she does. Plus bad decisions are made by refs all the time and no-one says "typical man, can't tell whether it's a hand ball".

Of course I take my share of banter at work, who doesn't, but banter and 'banter' are not the same. Inappropriate Guy didn't know me at all when he made fairly appalling comments in the pub - my work mates know the line and they never cross it and never would.

My organisation has been unbelievably flexible about my needs to fit work around a chronically ill husband and a small child. I've been promoted three times, I can honestly say I don't think my gender has held me back in any way whatsoever. I doubt I will be promoted again, but that's not because of my gender and more because of my work background. Ultimately the big boss we report to in our government department is a woman.

I should add, I interviewed at 28 weeks pregnant. I did try to warn them but I think the agency felt they couldn't pass the information along. I'm sure no-one else would have employed me under the circs, despite the law.

So I kind of feel bad that I was so upset by what I did go through that evening in the pub, given the utter shite you all have had to endure but this is all completely unacceptable.

Loads! Just 2 examples~

A woman was told not to bother going for a promotion as the boss didnt know if she would run off and have another kid!

A member of management said to me ~ i suppose you will be next to breed! (I was, but thats not the point)

So much more i could say but fear it would out me, and some of it is a bit too raw.

A couple of examples:

One guy felt the bottom of a woman whilst she was carrying some heavy equipment.

One of my colleagues had taken some days off sick because her then bf hit her . On her return a senior manager made a joke about it in front of her and her colleagues (who hadn't until that point known the reason for her absense).

Was subjected to three presentations yesterday from three separate suppliers with 16 people involved. Only two of them were women. Not my workplace's fault but very typical of the industry I am in. (However, the positive was that the best person out of all the presentations was in fact one of the women).

My dh is a nurse. When he was newly qualified (about 20 years ago), he and a doctor (who was a woman) did some visits to local primary schools. They were both dressed in the same hospital uniform, generic white tunics.

In each class they were introduced as, "here is a nurse and doctor come to visit us". Then the children were asked who they thought was the nurse. Practically all of them thought the woman was the nurse and my dh was the doctor. I would hope that if the same exercise was repeated now, the results would be different.

I am the only woman at my workplace whose dh changed his hours to part-time after we had a baby. That was 16 years ago. It made sense because as a nurse, flexible hours were commonplace, and I earned more than him. Not that I have to justify the decision! But so many higher-earning women wouldn't dream of asking their partners to do this. Let's face it, most of them wouldn't dream of asking them to change a nappy though