Using 'girl' as an insult aged 6!

[Chrysanthemum5]

Looking for some thoughts on something that DS told me about. He is 6 and this morning he asked me why someone would call you'missus' when you are a boy. I said I didn't know, and could he tell me more. Tunrs out some of the boys in his school have been coming up to DS and others and calling them 'missus' and saying they are 'girls'. DS said he would just tell them that they are stupid girls, so we had a chat about how using 'girl' as an insult would mean being a girl was worse than being a boy and that wasn't the case. So, he's happily gone off to tell these boys that they are instead simply stupid and smelly (probably no better, but I do want him to come up with is own solution to problems!)

However, if did make me think. It's not the first time he's come home and repeated comments about girls such as they always have to wear pink, or they can't play football etc. (in response to that one I asked him to think about whether they couldn't play football, or was it that the boys wouldn't let them and after thinking he agreed it was the later and said he'd share).

I knew that this would come up at some point, I just didn't expect it aged 6! I don't want to make a big issue out of it with DS and I'm happy that he understands and is aware of treating girls and boys equally.

But are there any hints or advice on what to say to him when it comes up again? Should I simply ignore comments? or do I need to carry on asking him to think about things?

Basically, am I over-reacting?!

Couldn't he say something like 'that's a bit of a stupid insult! There's nothing wrong with girls! You're obviously a bit dim if you can't think of a better way to insult me', and then walk off haughtily.

Or even better - 'cool! Girls rock! Would far rather be like a girl than like an idiot like you who thinks that saying someone's a girl is an insult'!

Don't think you're overreacting, and sounds like you did the right thing, not making a huge deal of it but just pointing out these things as and when they come up and getting him thinking about them.

I guess it's only a matter of time before they're using 'gay' as an insult instead

Gah. When people do this to me (yes, an adult woman) I say "oh good, I like girls. Why would you think that that was an insult?"

Or if being told I throw like a girl etc "what? You mean, really well?"

Not sure that'll work well for a 6 year old though. Well, maybe the second one would.

I would challenge it at every usage. Same with gay. Make it clear it is not appropriate as an insult. and why.

So no, not overreacting at all. But to me it IS a big issue. I'd have zero tolerance for any racist, sexist or homophobic insults.

Not over reacting at all. Good to get them to think things through.

I remember as a kid liking having things to say back like 'I know you are I said you are but what are you' so maybe tell him some of those retorts. (The anti sexist ones, not my shit one above.)

Not overreacting at all. I sit near a female colleague who says things like that all the time-eg so and so were arguing like a pair of girls. She is in the Navy Reserves, surrounded by men, and I think she has internalized the rampant sexism.

It drives me mad. I mentioned it to a male colleague once and he is now picking her up on it, which gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling!!!

Thanks, I work in quite a sexist environment so sometimes I second guess myself about these things!

Some have suggested good alternative lines for DS, however I don't want to put words in his mouth iyswim. I'm happy to point out why using girls in this context is wrong, and chat about it but he likes to come up with his own solutions and I think that's best.

I hope gay will not come up as in issue but I guess it might. One of my siblings is transgender and DS has accepted that no problem so I'm hoping he's growing up to be open and accepting!