Equality in behaviour as well as treatment?

[penelopestitsdropped]

I am not an intellectual heavy weight and quite frankly this board scares me..so please be gentle.

This isn't a thread about a thread, more so inspired by a post on another thread.

Am i being very niave to think that as a feminist we should be behaving equaly to men. I dont mean scratching balls and playing football, but in the general terms of society.

I have just seen an argument put forward for why it would be more acceptable for a woman to hit a man that suggests that due to physical size we are more sympathetic to the underdog.
I appreciate that in the real rather than idealistic world this is probably the case.

But surely if we want to be treated equally we should expect to behave equally.

someone stated - or do you think females have achieved equal status in this society and all others around the globe? i'd like to see you be the first to tell the feminist board if so.

as if, because we have yet to acheive equality universally we should still be allowed to play the weaker sex card as and wehn we decide it necessary.

am i so out of touch and niave to think that this is wrong?

It is about power.

It is possible for a woman to have more power in a relationship. On the rare occasions this happens some men find themselves subject to abuse, and might lash out. This is understandable as the common reverse situation. However if the person with the power is abusive (think about successful playground bullies to get an idea of power in this context) it is wrong.

The vulnerable in our society, and yes sadly that often still includes women, deserve protection and support.

There are many individuals who buck the trends but overall I still believe the balance of power in our society is weighted toward the masculine. Note masculine not men. But that is a whole other story. Frankly I think boys who grow up believing feminine qualities (sorry on iPhone otherwise there would be a lot of single quote marks around) are valuable for men too have a really tough time of it right now. I am assuming this a process within necessary change but would love to learn more.

Sorry op I have waffled but I am sure power is the important concept to consider in relation to your points!

Me again! Playing the weaker sex card sticks right in my throat. I am not sure it is wholly credible but more to the point it diminishes those who use it. Power brings responsibilities as well as rights and yes we should all be mIndful of these.

and mine. I just think, perhaps foolishly, that if we want to be treated equally we must first view ourselves equally.

well I think there are a couple of issues here.
The scenario you describe happens so rarely. Usually it's women on the receiving end of men's violence.

If a woman is hitting a man in self-defence then the fact that she's weaker should be taken into account.
BUt of course you can't use the weaker sex card to justify behaviour you would not allow in men!!

Dontdiss I disagree with you that society is only in favour of the masculine. Femininity is praised no end. Females OTOH aren't much liked. Females do the back-breaking low paid drudge and labour throughout the world for a pittance: farming, sweat shops, factory work, coal mining, you name it, they always have. That's got nothing to do with the femininity that the patriarchy values so much. YOu might be able to "do" femininity well, if you're a female, but that's just down to luck or money.

sakura

I think that was what I was trying to say when musing on how hard it is for boys (and males in general) who value and adopt so called 'feminine' characteristics. I am thinking about boys who have grown up being emotionally intelligent (I hate that phrase but is a good short hand!) and might then struggle with socially determined roles, as you said that 'female roles' are undervalued.

Equal rights come with equal responsibilities, that sort of thing?