Boden catalogue - a feminist critique

[MarineIguana]

OK I know it's only a mail order catalogue but bloody hell! There I was leafing through the spring one, and the little twee bits where they ask the models questions are just breathtaking. I'm sure they have got much worse. It used to be irritating but non-gender specific stuff about do you like jumping in puddles, cat or dog, etc. Now we have:

Maria, what gets you knickers in a twist?
Subtext: Being a woman you DO get your knickers in a twist obviously, and also we wanted to mention knickers (even though we don't sell them) asap.

Maria, what "pseudo occupation" do you assume at parties?
Subtext: you're a model, you must be thick and you can't be proud of what you do, can you?

Maria, what do you remember about your first kiss?
Subtext: we're still thinking about knickers, now also with pervy thoughts about teenagers added

Maria, what's your view on exfoliating?
Subtext: Maria, we know you're not thinking about the new government or the large hadron collider.

Maria, what things do you hide from your boyfriend?
Subtext: a) obviously you have a boyfriend b) you are an untrustworthy scheming jezebel

Maria, what single thing confuses you most about men?
Subtext: Oh ffs!

Maria, what would you do if you were a man for a week?
(Maria: "Do nothing and be looked after by a women"

Maria, what's the best way to flatter a mother-in-law?
Subtext: Because that is your job obviously.

Maria, what part of your body tends to get airbrushed?
Subtext: You may be stunningly beautiful, but don't forget for a second that you're still not good enough.

Maria, what's your stingiest habit?
Subtext: Whoever wrote this hates women, don't they?

Some of the models give quite good answers though:
Anna Flore, what single thing confuses you most about men?
AF: "Their taste in women"

I thought there was supposed to be a bit of a feminist backlash atm? Why can't we have a browse for a new garish "sassy" spring outfit without being bombarded with subtly nasty, undermining misogynist messages?

Luckily I can boycott Mr B as there's nothing I like this season... well maybe this bag in purple

But seriously - wtf? Am I being po-faced?

Oh and do they ask the men these questions? "Greg, what gets your knickers in a twist?" They do not.

Bloody hell.

Actually I think "do nothing and get looked after by women" is quite a funny and sharp response. She knows what's going on doesn't she?

I'm not sure elephants, if you read Maria's responses it;s hard to tell. But some of them are definitely a bit impatient with the questions. eg

Laura, what's the biggest fib you've ever told?
Laura: "Actually I've never told one. Whoops!"

Edda, what is your karaoke song?
Edda: "I can't bear karaoke." (You can almost hear her adding under her breath "Now fuck off with the stupid questions")

Ha yes. I've never read a real live Boden catalogue, is this in the "public humiliation" section, between shoes and scarves?

Is it designed to show that models/women are thick or something? Or just too patient to kick stupid interviewers in the nads?

Johnnie Boden is well known sexist twat.

I bet, while most clothing company owners do not write their own catalogue copy, this is one part of the job he has refused to delegate.

Think the idea is so you buy into the whole aspirational lifestyle brand bullshit, not just the tailored curtains dresses. It's meant to make me think 'she's just like me, but with a sassier spring dress'.

apart from their questions sound nothing at all like me. Because this week I'm mainly thinking about man magement, genome wide association studies, foreign language literature, grout and tax accounting. I see that I am not given an opportunity to tally up my views on any of this subjects with the Boden models.

So I guess we all need a new aspirational cookie cutter lifestyle vendor.

If MN made clothes....

Seth - I think I heard that someone on here used to write the cringeworthy copy (ages ago though) ? so I assumed it still wasn't Johnnie himself. Or maybe he has taken over and hence the change.

Exactly Sylvanian, why would I want to "buy in" or aspire to this gender agenda? What is aspirational about lying to your partner, obsessing over exfoliation, sucking up to your MIL and thinking about ugly bits of you that have to get airbrushed?

It's definitely true Butterfly! Do you not get the catalogue through the post then? (Thought it was mandatory for MNers :o)

I read mine in the bath, for the occasional thing I might like and also because I love to hate the smarmy text bits and look for the most eye-wateringly loud cardigans.

LOL

Only on Mumsnet.

Will now read thread.

I knew there was a reason my catalogue went straight into the craft pile for the children to cut and stick with.

I find more annoying the pictures where someone bounces around with a banal smile whilst their children prance next to them holding an ice cream. One of them is usually wearing white. Yeah right. In what reality would you not end up covered with the ice cream after 15 seconds. And skipping. Skipping? How many mothers do you see skipping on the beach in a skirt?! Per-lease.

It all fits with the aspirational life style bollocks.

oh I'm just glad I can't afford it.

Surely those little q and a bits are made up? I always hoped so anyway. V v poor.

Am so glad to see this thread, I was staring unbelievingly at my new catalogue this morning. One would think that women talk of nothing but kittens, manicures and mothers in law.

Here are a few more crackers:

"Laura, when is it OK to wear pyjamas outside the house?"

'Never, a woman should look pretty even when she takes out the rubbish"

"Gabriella, what do you hide from your boyfriend?"

"Chocolate"

And especially for missorinoco:

"Laura what's the worst thing about other people's children?

'The fact that they spill things on your white trousers"

However, I do like this rather off-message reply from Simone to the "stingiest habit" question, in which I detect a hint of rebellion:

"Prolonging the life of printer cartridges by giving them a vigourous shake."

See, even the models agree with me!!

Good god.

But DirtyMartini even if they were made up, is that any better? It would still be presenting an appalling view of women.

that should be vigorous (Simone can spell despite being a Boden model)

HerBex, you know I did think as I wrote the OP, could there BE a more mumsnet-ily mumsnetty topic.

Yes, it's the perfect fusion thread.
Next week- Are ~Greggs sausage rolls the ideal food for breastfeeding mothers?

Only if washed down with a fruit shoot.

Pendulum :o Greggs has actually been very handy for my bf-ing calorie cravings recently. Sausage rolls a bit meh though - I do cheese & onion pasty followed by cream apple turnover.

See this is why Toast is better, because it is (or was originally) designed by archaeologists. Though I concede their shoots are equally nuts in a different way.

Toast was originally designed by archaeologists?

bet not many archaeologists can afford to wear it.

Archaeologists? Can you explain further misskeith?

DH loves the Toast catalogue. He calls it the "pissed off women book" and amuses himself by writing Boden style text pieces next to the moody shots:

"You forgot to put the bins out again."

"No I do not fancy a Chinese."