Adverts that wind you up

[bronze]

The virgin advert- no women pilots and no male air stewards.

Pretty much any advert for cleaning products

I think it's an Always one.

'Have a happy period'

Whilst I don't subscribe to menstruation being a curse, I also don't believe a certain type of sanitary towel is able to give you a happy period.

It really grates on me.

Any advert that features an unflustered woman in a kitchen.

I don't know any woman who is not flustered in a kitchen.

And wtf wears high heels and a skirt and smiles when they're cleaning?

Moronic.

That ad for Ducloease (sp?)

You have three metropolitan women sitting round a restaurant table and one comes out, announcing that she's done a 'really hard poo'. The other one whips out her bad. 'You need Ducloease - it makes it easier when you go to the loo!'

Hilarity all round. The third woman than makes a really shitty joke (maybe that's the link) about 'I had a pain once. I dumped him.'

And they all laugh loudly while thinking: 'Please God don't let any of my family/friends ever see this ad.'

And that fucking awful ad for Vanish. You've got a mother in the kitchen with her young son. HORRORS! The boy has a STAIN on his football shirt and the mother has an expression that suggests she's just found out she's got a terminal disease.

'Oh no - I can't let you go to the match like that?!'

The Vanish woman then appears with the pink stuff and instead of saying:

'Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my kitchen?'

she nods like a car accessory while Vanish woman tells her how to avoid the shame and horror of allowing her child to go out with a stain on his shirt.

Those ones for youghurts that are supposed to stop the hell of mild indigestion, all these women sitting around rubbing their tummys and wailing about how bloated and farty they are.
Oh and that fucking Boots one about how sweet it is that these women are doing everything despite being unwell, because their adorable big male babies are lying down with icky sniffles.

I was watching the virgin advert with incredulation last night. It's so rubbish the sexist angle is the only thing you notice where it probably would have flown under the radar if they had boxed a bit more clever with the seventies glamour theme. pardon the pun. Who are they advertising to?

All the ones mentioned above annoy the hell out me. Just seen a Ryvita advert and feel the sudden urge to get my moustache done , because obviously that's what I talk about at lunch (it's a parody on Sex in the City for those who haven't seen it).

I haven't actually seen an ad for ages. Always leave the room to make tea/ post on MN/ go to loo when they're on.

But the one which really stuck in my mind, was the one where it was for either stopping diarrheoa (how the hell d'you spell it) or constipation. It's just so depressing - it went something like: "you know what it's like when you can't shit properly... it's something that happens to all of us, all the time, isn't it girls..." Why are so many women eating such a shit diet that it's worth the gigantic expense of actually bothering to make and air a commercial advertising a solution, when the actual solution would be to eat fucking properly?

SGB your yogurt ones have reminded me about those infernal Muller yogurt ones. They're awful. Poor Nina Simone.

Have you seen the godawful ryvita one? A serious new low.
Women sitting around a table, one says what would you change about yourself if you could, women2 says something like lose weight, women 3 says something like my nose...then last women says I'd change nothing, and the others look at each other, one says not that arse (or whatever) and another mutters "moustache" under her breath at her and they all giggle inanely.

Worst. Advert. Ever.

Oh god it sounds vile.

Real resentment there, of a woman who claims that she thinks she's OK

I mean, how DARE she. Just how DARE she. FFS, to imagine that she might actually be OK, not need anything changed. Presumptious cow.

I have literally never seen and advert that fucked me off that much. And for ryvita...nasty cardboard textured arse flavoured inherently misogynistic fucking ryvita.

(no shit)

The Asda advert where a whole bunch of women go shopping en masse led by an Anthea Turner type woman.

My friends, when we meet up go out to the pub or a restaurant.

HerBeatitude my dad always comments about the constipation adverts aimed at women and always say "have women never heard of Guiness?"

That sounds terrible Buzz.

So now, if by some chance you've gotten away with it all and are ok, don't forget that somebody, somewhere is sniggering at you for a flaw you may not even be aware of.

imagining Guinness's new ad campaign, spearheaded by the CrackFox's dad.

it read like "don't for a second think you're half as good as you think you are. Have some ryvita you fat cow. Even if you're skinny, your friends think you are ugly"

and I confirm that guiness does indeed work for constipation. Though its a very fine line before it tips the balance the other way.....

Anything for cleaning products or air fresheners. You know when the women are so excited that their house smells like pot pouri pike

The Dettol no touch soap dispenser ad really winds me up! I mean whats the point? you wash your hands after you touch a soap dispenser anyway so you are washing the germs off

"'Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my kitchen?' "

Exactly my thoughts!! Same with that pasta advert where he turns up at the door of the beautiful female neighbour clutching a ruined roast.

She not only tells him what he can do as a replacement for the roast but actually cooks a packet of pasta for him. Then says, what time is your date arriving? Him: 'She's here, pulls out chair, she smiles delightedly and sits down.

Arrrrrggggghhh - why the hell isn't she saying 'piss off out of my flat you weirdo stalker and take your burnt meat with you?

"And for ryvita...nasty cardboard textured arse flavoured inherently misogynistic fucking ryvita"

never thought of it like that. Very accurate description actually!

Those fucking fucking lloyds bank adverts with the snouty-nosed idiots wind me up the most. With the hooting woman music.

But on a feminist level, I have to say all the yoghurty adverts are probably the worst. Actually my guts are JUST DANDY thanks. Do they think our vaginas rise up and start strangling our intestines or something? Or just that we're really gullible?

oh Elephants I am just crying with laughter at the idea of intestine-strangling vaginas.

But now we have all mentioned it, why are there no ads where men talk about their collywobbles, reeking farts and bogbreath?