So what if your father was a misogynist bully?

[roseability]

Okay this is a sensitive area for me but I thought it might be relevant in this section.

I had a bullying, abusive adoptive father. I realise now he is a woman hater and I should have heard the alarm bells sooner. He is out of my life now and I am beginning to find my true self and heal from his abuse

I believe this is a feminist issue. Whilst societal patriarchy and inherent sexism is of course a huge issue, I wonder how it affects women when their first male relationship is with a misogynist and a bully.

Some examples - My adoptive father once stated that women who dress provocatively deserve to be raped. He was obsessed by how thin I should be and manipulated me into having my hair cut short. I believe he wanted me to look boyish because when I hit puberty he was threatened by my developing sexuality.

The pregnant form disgusted and terrfied him in equal measure. He told me I was fat repeatedly and forced me to diet. He raged, manipulated and emotionally abused me for years.

As a result I went through a period of disrespecting myself and my body and let men use me. I am sure it is related to my relationship with him

I am fine now! Therapy and a lovely family have healed me. I just wondered how signifcant this issue is for feminism and women's rights. After all if your father is a sexist bully, what chance do you have?

[AnyFucker]

Ohhh, this thread getting resurrected gave me a shock to read my early posts on it.

FrNath, you deserve some support. Start your own thread or look for the "stately homes" thread in relationships.

[AnyFucker]

here it is

some fabulous insight on there

[JeanneTheRabidFeminist]

AF, I remember this thread and your posts, and they helped me even though I didn't know quite why at the time.

I hope you're in a better place than you were then, too. You deserve to be - you give so many people so much good advice.

[AnyFucker]

Back in active convo's again

thanks, Jeanne

[JeanneTheRabidFeminist]

Oh, whoops!

I had no idea it'd do that ... MN must be slow tonight.

But, anyway: no, thank you. So much.

[AnyFucker]

all around