sick of being ignored

[JosieRosie]

Just wanted to share my experience and find out if any of you have noticed anything similar.....

When in restaurants/pubs with table service with my (male) DP, I often feel treated like a 2nd class citizen, or even totally invisible. Even when I ask for the bill, when the staff member brings it, they will always without fail hand it to DP. It makes me bloody furious

Anyhoos, went out for breakfast with DP this am. The guy who brought our food to the table came back a few mins later to check if all was ok. Except when he did so, he looked at my DP and said 'everything ok sir?' and completely ignored me! Was absolutely and decided I couldn't let it lie...

So when he came to clear plates,
Me: 'can I make a suggestion? It's generally considered polite to ask both people at the table if they enjoyed their food'.

Him 'have I been rude?'
Me: 'I thought so, yes'
Him: totally backed down, gave unreserved apology several times, smile, eye contact

I feel quite proud of myself for following through and not just fuming silently. I'm glad it went so well as I'm not one for conflict and certainly wasn't looking for a fight, just felt I had to make my point.

Have you had similar experiences or reacted in different ways? Any thoughts/suggestions welcome!

Bless him, he actually said 'thank you for your advice' and he definitely wasn't being snarky! Hopefully he will acknowledge his female customers in future

This doesn't happen in restaurants around here. They are very careful about the wine and bill and everything.

Good for you saying something.

I took DH out for lunch last week as I had the day off. The waitress offered the hand hold credit card doodah to DH and looked most put out when I grabbed the bill and paid in cash.

Maybe it is the case that the man STILL pays most of the time? Why would they continue to assume that otherwise?

Maybe men do pay usually Pantofino, don't know. I put it down to the usual deferential bullshit where Mr Big Strong Moneybags would be horribly offended if he wasn't assumed to be stumping up. Surely a sensible option would be to put the bill in the middle of the table and see who jumps for it?

Agree! Mind you, I think I was the only female customer in the restaurant which was filled with "power lunch" types. It pisses me off no end.