The Times today,article on gender neutral parenting.

[TheTimesMNer]

Thought you may be interested!!!

How old is your DD suntangirl? I have a 3yo and recently asked for ideas on books with strong female characters and there were loads of great suggestions, did you see it, I can find the link if you'd like?

hi ISNT - shes only 14.5 months just now but i want to be ready :-)

i'd love book suggestions, thank you

talking about women and blue collar jobs always makes me think of this song which doesn't even seem dated yet :-(

books for preschoolers thread

Both my DDs have shown that they have more interest in percieved "boys toys" than anything aimed at them.

They are 6 and 2....the 2 year old loves tools and trains...and the older one adores scientific things. I have gotten the 6 year old a mini microscope and a crystal mining kit..among other things...she has no interest in dolls houses or princesses...the little one has a train set and a tool set.

I'm not sure why they're like this...I haven't made any particular effort other than to de-bunk stereotypical crap as it comes along.
INcludng explaining that it's fine for men & boys to wear dresses, makeup and glitter if they want.

They are in a particularly artistic family...and around a lot of actors etc...but I would hope that in breaking the assumptions before they become ingrained that they can contribute to equalising things soon.

Thank you for the light bulb moment Isnt

The whole negative feminism/ boys things are better thing has never, ever occurred to me. [bad newbie feminist emoticon]

As I went to an all girls school there was no "science is for boys" but certainly it was implicitly "understood" that textiles was for the thickos.

Really interesting read. DD is due in January so I think I have lots to learn/read.

It's a pretty awful realisation - for me it was anyway - that I was going around feeling like a feminist and all the time I was buying into deeply sexist ideas about what was worthwhile/important/difficult etc. It has helped a lot with the DDs though, realising that pushing girls towards "male" things due to a very deeply entrenched belief that they are superior, is just as bad as pushing them towards girls things and telling them that of course they won't be able to be a plumber.

Give them all the opportunities to do everything and see what they like, try and talk to them about sexism they may encounter, and about stereotypes. Then what we need to do is fight to get "girls" and "womens" stuff the recognition it deserves in society. I reckon

have to agree isnt also re the boys thing are better.

i find the 'letting the boys have dolls/prams' thing a bit tokenistic but i don't know if i can quite explain why though so forgive me. its as if its about letting the the ds's 'experiment' until you feel as a parent that the box can be ticked but that the gesture doesn't really address the problem that toys are gender specific at all.

toy washing machines/hoovers things like that make me feel uncomfortable too. especially as i saw a pink toy oven recently (there was no blue one). i'm not sure i can articulate this issue that well either but they raise my hackles.

I bought my dnephew a toy hoover when he was two (it was blue if that's significant - it probably is, since being the ELC there was a pink one too and it didn't cross my mind to choose it).

An otherwise intelligent friend (without children) questionned the purchase of this toy because it was a "girl's toy" . We had a really interesting conversation about whether she thought a hoover was a women's thing - she didn't.

Is a pram a women's thing? Is a washing machine a women's thing? Not in my house it isn't, or the houses of anyone I know. What are we teaching our sons when we label these toys with a gender? What are we teaching our daughters?

It's not gender neutral parenting, imo, to question some dodgy gender assumptions when it comes to children's play. Yes, there may be some broad themes to be found in the preferences of boy and girls in general (whilst recognising that individual children may differ in their own preferences from the stereotype) but individual objects aren't "girls toys" and "boys toys" imo.

i think that if you make 'housework related' toys pink you strongly suggest it is womens work. i suppose my confusion comes from thinking that housework is mrely that - work - not anything fun or to be coveted which is why it bothers me that they come in pink. i supppose one could argue that little children like to copy their parents and that this doesn't have gender differences unless you impose them.

V good posts suzi and kettles yes that's true - the idea of hoovers and washing machines being "women's things" seems to exist in advertising and products in a way that it doesn't in real life.

Ditto cars for boys - women drive cars don't they? As far as I'm aware...

I hadn't thought of that point before and it is very true. Toys introduce a dichotomy which just doesn't exist in real life. Why on earth is that?

TBH IME little boys love playing with the "housework" toys, all the children are emulating what they are exposed to at home. Nothing to do with girls/boys "natural" preferences and more a reminder to little girls what their place is I reckon.