menstruation taboo... strong as ever?

[harpsichordcarrier]

Just wondering what you thought about this one, as I have been mulling over it (I have two dds).
In the last few weeks I have had a couple of conversations that made me think that the taboo about menstruation - that it mustn't be mentioned, that it is dirty and shameful - is still as strong as ever.

1. I have a lillet in my car, just in case, and my friend got into the car and said 'oh, good job J (her 10 year old son) isn't here!'

1. second friend expressed surprise that I leave my mooncup box (either empty, or the mooncup is in a little cloth bag) on a shelf in the bathroom. 'What if your father in law came round?' We then went on to discuss what we had told our children. Both my friends (one with 5 and 7 yo dss, one with 4 yo dd and 7 yo ds) said they would not let their children know that they were menstruating, they have always locked them out of the bathroom so they don't see. My friend with two ds's said one of her sons noticed some blood in the toilet once, and she did not tell him what it was. They both felt that telling their children about menstruation would be 'too disturbing' and 'upsetting' and 'scary'.

I was really surprised by this - I thought perhaps attitudes had changed but, judging by more small circle of friends, maybe not. Every few weeks we have a 'YUK! Mooncups! How revolting!' thread on here.

Why in the 21st Century is menstruation STILL such a dirty guilty secret among women?

My first ever period was anticipated by my father. A real mans man "I'll get your mother" type of dad.

I remember having terrible backache and thought I was getting flu. My Dad turned to mum and quietly said "are you sure she's not getting her period?" and lo .... that afternoon he was despatched to buy sanitary towels.

I think boys need to be made aware of menstruation, its a fact of life ... a old friend of mines husband used to insist she stayed on the pill as he thought periods were dirty. They have a dd now, not sure how they managed that with his "£aversion".

whoops sorry about the random £ sign

i'll play my sons that song 'only women bleed' will that do it

Boys learn about it at school, age 10, if they don't know already by then.

'learning about it at school' is only a small, tiny part of learning though. By age ten, we have already picked up lots of the attitudes that will stay with us I think.

blimey my son is ten this year

I was putting a tampon in a few weeks ago and DD (21mo) had to be, as always , in the loo with me. Next day she picked one from a box and pretended she was doing the same (she was clothed, obv).

No taboos in this house, I wouldn't change in front of DS-he's 8 and it would be embarrasing for him- but I wouldn't shave my pubic hair in front of him, either, for the same reason, so nothing to do with menstruation per se. He has known about reproduction for ages, since he was 3 or 4.

I wouldn't change a tampon in front of ds, it should have said

my dd is 6 and I am currently trying to work out a way to let het in on it...she see my santitary towels...I dont hide them...but she is very sesitive about blood and I can't think how to tell her that blood comes out of me once a month and will also happen to her!

She freaks out at the mere sight of a drop on a cut knee.
I have never liked the way it's called "bleeding" ..its not really is it? It's more like "shedding"

Old womb lining coming away...but I can dress it up as much as I want...she will still see blood.

I don't know anyone who hides them though! My Mum used to ask me if I was "unwell" and did I need some "things" bless her!

I don't think it's as taboo as it was. Not among my circle anyway. I wouldn't announce it but I wouldn't hide it either.

If children don't ask about periods or how babies are made etc, are you supposed to bring it up yourself?

I had a policy of being open if asked, but despite me being pg last year dd(7) wasn't in the least bit curious. She loves science etc so I'm quite surprised, how long do you leave it before having a little chat? My sanitary products are left on the windowsill and apart from ds scattering the "rockets" all over the house, they go unnoticed .

Never been aware of a taboo.

But I would not leave tampons, ladyshave, waxing strips, facial bleach , piles ointment, etc on the open bathroom shelf just because they are personal items, not because I am ashamed of them

Always keep a couple of tampons in bag just in case (although not a mo as pregnant). According to my african grey parrot they are the best toy ever - he will go searching through said bag and emerge triumphant with a tampon which he will then proceed to take appart. In the absense of tampons he now goes for the mobile phone :).

I am very open about menstruating with my children (DD1 is 7 and DD2 is 4). I never seem to get a minute in the toilet by myself so they have seen sanitary towels and my mooncup now I use one. They have borrowed party liners before to play with as nappies for their dolls.

They are not the least bit bothered and not very interested really in periods as they are so young. I want them to just grow up with the idea the same as they have grown up with the idea that everybody has bowel movements, boys and girls have different genitals, etc.

I think there is still a fairly general taboo. I hated the taboo more than the actual periods when I was young so try to be matter of fact with my own children.

Oops - panty liners even, although party liners sound more fun!

Just wanted to say I don't actually empty my mooncup in front of the kids but they have caught me squatting to pop it back in before and asked what I was doing.

My seven year old asked if the mooncup was to catch the egg that mummy makes which I thought was a pretty good question.

I think there's definitely a taboo, you can see it even in the adverts for sanitary products. There was one not long ago for tampons in small discreet packaging, where the man comes into his girlfriend's apartment while she's showering/changing in another room or something, and accidentally picks one up and opens it thinking it's a sweet - and the camera cuts away to the outside (because we couldn't possibly actually be expected see the dreaded item) and you just hear his scream of horror as he realises what he picked up. I know it was supposed to be funny and maybe poking fun at men's attitudes more than anything, but really seemed bizarre to me. What's so horrific or disgusting about a clean, unused tampon? Surely no worse than picking up a clean tissue or sticking plaster?

It would actually be a real 'red flag' (sorry :)) for me if a man was really disgusted by anything to do with periods, would suggest some not very nice attitudes about women and our bodies. My DP is happy to buy tampons if I need them, and was interested to see my mooncup when I first got it.

It's taboo in my parent's house - I would hide my mooncup if they were coming around. But my DD (just turned 3) has seen me using it and I've explained. I admit that I'm hoping she won't go off and share her knowledge ("Mummy has blood coming out of her vulva!") with the wider public.

It's not the taboo that bothers me so much but the attitude that even if your periods are awful and you're having a terrible time you should just carry on as normal. When I was training to be a teacher our (female) PE coach would let the boys sit out for any minor ailment or injury (usually drink related) but even if you were green and vomiting because of period cramp you were still expected to carry on. I've heard the same attitude to pregnancy to a certain extent, even from my midwife, who says "Oh that's just pregnancy" if ever complain about anything, as if that makes me feel any better
There's an attitude that periods shouldn't be complained about and that because they happen every month you don't have any right to expect any consideration if you're really suffering.

in my cirlce of family and friends it is taboo. my mum has spokne to me 3 times about periods.

1. the day i started them she told me she would get me pads.
2. the day my sister fainted at the bus stop
3. when i told her i was pg with ds1. she siad she knew because i hadn't had my period.

my introduction to periods was a booklet my mum left in my room when i wasn't there.

only one of my friends is open about it and we have no problem talking about them. her husband is open about them too. my ds is only 5 and so far hasn't asked what my tampons are for or why i am putting them in my vagina. don't know if he has actually noticed tbh but i don't lock bathroom doors and he has been tehre whilst i have done it.

Just in case you needed some period related entertainment.

My dad used to buy them for me. Although he would refer to them as 'torpedoes'.
And I never ever let girls out of sport when working at a school unless they produced a note. A period is not a disability!!! Oh and this is from someone who had two days off school a month and regular pethedine injections for her periods from age 9!

Just in case you needed some period related entertainment.

My dad used to buy them for me. Although he would refer to them as 'torpedoes'.
And I never ever let girls out of sport when working at a school unless they produced a note. A period is not a disability!!! Oh and this is from someone who had two days off school a month and regular pethedine injections for her periods from age 9!

Twice the fun it seems!

arrgh, i have no sound!! can't watch clips.

I use washable towels so once a month they are either drying on the line or on the radiators.

Ds (6) would happily explain what they are for, I just asked him and he said,

'they are sort of like a nappy, so your clothes don't get messy, they are there to catch a nest made of blood, that mummies body would have needed if she was having a baby, but she isn't so the nest has to come out and is caught by the pretty nappies. Then the nappies get washed so they can be used again, rather than thrown away, it isn't good to throw things away unless you have to'.

And Dp will happily throw them in, or get them out, of the machine.

No shame here, though I see it alot with other women and think it is really crappy.

booyhoo, that's exactly what my Mum did with me. I was wasn't sure if I was supposed to have read the booklet or not, but when I started my periods I couldn't tell her.

I don't know why, what I was afraid of but it took me several miserable months to finally tell her, even then it was because I'd ran out of money to buy pads and bled all over my shorts.

DS has just turned 4, he sees tampons and pads and thinks they're for ladies bums. I'm not sure how I'll tell him exactly, just play it by ear and answer his questions as the crop up I suppose, but I'd never what him to think it's something to be ashamed of.