What makes a man?

[TheFeministParent]

Just wondering as I keep trying to articulate masculinity or maleness and I really couldn't tell you anything about a man that makes him a man that doesn't make him sound (or me) like an anti feminist!

So I was thinking strong, safe, straight forward....

E&M: So no publishing company would ever waste money on producing posters, calenders and magazines dedicated to Robert Pattinson/Brad Pitt/Take That/[insert name of percieved-as-attractive male sleb of choice here], would they? Because women don't want to look at pictures of men, women are into lurrve and oh well they might read some erotic fiction....

No, and also SGB you'll notice that musicians beloved by huge numbers of men are completely visually stunning (Motorhead, Slipknot, Radiohead) (yes I know lots of women like them too thanks), whereas musicians adored by women and girls are loved purely for their musical ability, with their looks completely irrelevant (Take That, Girls Aloud, Justin Bieber etc).

My husband and I have similar numbers of sexual partners, he is most put out that I have one or two more! But he did expect to have had more.

Sprogger what you say there give me pause for thought as to just how much emphasis culture put on making male and female look different.

Surely those that are attracted to the opposite sex would not be confused if there were less obvious markers - eg hair styles/nails/make-up/girly-clothes .

I really think this proves for me that these practices are to separate us out as women - different from and to be regarded as lesser than men.

What makes a man is never having to ask that question, because maleness is so normalised.

Which, on the context of this site in particular, gives men immense freedom to move between roles in their lives (employee, boss, scholar, parent, friend) without constantly having their gender brought into things as a defining feature.

I would suggest that not being able to give birth is a defining parental identity for most men, but accept its not strictly 'male'-there may be some transmen who have, and there are many non-birth mothers who haven't.

Loving, caring, looks after their kids and doesnt abandon them. Would say the same for women. Other than that just do what you like.

I dont go for men that follow stereotypes and I dont follow stereotypes myself. I am my own person and if you dont like it then bollocks to you.

I do however know how lucky we are to be the ones to carry and birth children. My husband was dead jealous when I was pregnant and always talks about how he wishes it was him. I think that is the main difference between men and women overall.

So if a woman doesn't have children they are the same as men?

of course not wellwasi, what an unsophisticated take on Adela's post.

wellwasi. I thought I was clear-a defining parental identity, and qualified again. Stressing parenthood seemed appropriate here...