Why is "cocksucker" an insult?

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

I find it very strange that most men are pretty keen on having their cocks sucked. Yet many use "cocksucker" as an insult. I don't get it. Anyone?

It's being the subordinate, isn't it?

It's in the same category as men liking to get laid and also using "slut" as an insult - I want this from you, but if you give it to me freely you've lost and I win. Sex as battleground.

And cocksucking has all those submissive connotations (seen as purely one-sided act, down on knees, etc), so worse. Levelled at a man, it's also "you are gay and submissive and practically a woman, eurgh".

I think I've only heard it applied to men, which presumably makes it a dire insult in the tiny mind of any red-blooded homophobe.

it just seems strange that someone is being insulted for doing something (seen by most as) very nice?

I can't imagine insulting a man with "pussy-licker".

do only men use this word then?

I wondered if it was something to do with being gay.

So it's said by men, to/about men exclusively?

The point is that they wouldn't want to do it themselves (or admit to wanting to).

basically it's a chap calling another chap a right old nellie, elephants.

a right old nellie?

just a happy coinkydink.

right old nellie eh. I see

So it's just an imaginative way of saying "gay man".

Does anyone else find it a bit...weird that it's used as an insult?

lovely singing btw Aitch

no, because telling a man that he sucks other men's boabies is the worst insult in all of the world, if one is a moron. and there are pleeeeehhhenty of morons.

wait - is that what boabies means? My glaswegian mate used to darkly mutter "that's boaby" about anything he didn't like much.

I agree that it's about being gay. 'Rug muncher' or 'muff diver' I have heard as lesbian equivalents.

that is indeed what boaby means. suck ma boaby being a particularly crude/amusing expression.

I honestly don't think the intent is merely the gay connotation.

It carries the same negative connection of any suggestion that a man assume the supposed "female" role in sex. It is tied to the general perception from a significant and unpleasant amount of society that since women are inferior to men, saying a man takes the role of a woman is insulting to him. It is doubly powerful because it's crudity rolls in all the hideous perceptions of sexually active (possibly even eager) women, which is that they are dirty, lesser people there to be used by men.

Essentially since society has put so much effort into identifying a womans role in sex as submissive and degraded, to suggest a man take that role is a pretty powerful insult.

You can't overthink sexually-based crude insults though: most of them are based on the 'mouthfeel' of the word more than the meaning. Who means 'motherfucker' in all seriousness? And what about 'wanker'- who doesn't wank?

"mouthfeel" - very good BoF.

I know what you mean. I don't suppose that people who call each other "dickhead" are really in opposition to cockends per se.

But I think electrokin has a point, it seems to be saying that for men to be sucking cock is demeaning, but it's fine for women to be doing so. Homophobia or sexism? Or a delightful mulch of both?

Also, you know, what tortoise said hours ago

What, is 'dickhead' about cockends? Not penises wobbling about on foreheads?

Seriously, I need to know. I have an unofficial role as slang-explainer to international students. I might need to devise a whole new set of descriptive gestures.

I suppose it's submissive. Same reason that some men are terrified of being thought gay

Well, if you are a male cocksucker, you're not getting your own cock sucked, are you? you are giving something away - being cheated.

Female cock suckers, of course, don't get any pleasure from sex anyway, so they simply have something in their mouths. It's not like they even have a cock.

Sorry colditz I know it's not really funny but :o at "It's not like they even have a cock."

Loooooosers

Think you're probably right. Except I would add "they simply have something in their mouths, demonstrating a proper respect for The Cock and Manliness in General.

It has a double whammy isn't it. Can imply female or gay, both terrible insults to a certain sort of man.

But then, lots of insults convey the idea of a man as female - referring to someone 'crying like a girl' for example.

Men are supposed to be heterosexually active predators. Cocksucking is supposedly insulting because it implies submission and gayness; wanking because it implies an inability to predate. Why men use words specifically about their own genetalia as gendered insults (cock, dickhead) I don't know, although there is a also a long standing trophe that manliness is about control-perhaps the suggestion is that reducing men to their dicks is offensive, that they should be actively in control of their own huge sexualities.

Interestingly, even Latin (and especially Greek) more commonly uses 'c*nt licker' as a rough equivalent-the submissiveness trumping the heterosexuality. Variations on a theme, though.

Indeed, the submissiveness heightened by the heterosexuality-yielding to a man's pleasure less offensive than yielding to a (supposedly inferior) woman's.