O.M.G, I just found a website that

[kickassangel]

when asked to give 'title' gave me the following options
Mr or Ms

no other options. they just want to know if you're male/female to address you.

first time ever that I've seen that.

i feel all relieved & like there's a bit of hope.

Gosh, that's wonderful.

Although, if I were a Dr or a Cnl or something I'd be a bit miffed.

Col. not Cnl.
I'd be miffed if you addressed me Cnl.
As you were.

I knew I was going to get that wrong, but couldn't be arsed looking it up. Apologies.

Would you be miffed if your choices of title were restricted to Mr/Ms, Col. NickofTime?

I like it

if there wasn't a Dr and I was a bit upset, I'd assume that I was being arrogant and get over myself.

i'm not much into titles, tbh

in my more pensive moments i'd be pissed they were refering to the binary at all, but without knowing what the website was, no idea whether sex is relevant or not...

i like col. because it's not gender-specific.

i used to think it fabulous when young chaps used to e-mail me addressing me as 'sir' because they had only seen my rank and initials on a list. (and clearly if i was their superior i must be a bloke. natch.)

it used to tickle me when i replied and signed off with 'rachel' - it always sparked a flurry of reciprocal e-mails which started, 'ma'am' please accept my apologies'.

tee hee.

I go by a untypical 'boys' name. That also causes fun

cc, it's an interesting reason to use 'dr' and the like though - not arrogance, just refusal to be addressed by gender.

good point. I was looking forward to getting it for that very reason actually. That way I didn't have to deal with the whole what's my title palava. Col. is much cooler though .

Would you be Dr Col?

(can you tell I'm bored at work)

No you wouldn't - or at least not in the British Army.

If you want to find out if the officer has a PhD or any medical qualifications, you have to work it out from the post-nominals.

well that's just boring, but as expected.

I'd find that really annoying, because I don't go by Ms and would rather not have a title at all if that's the choice (indeed I don't know why a title is in any way required). I could just as well choose Mr, as as that would also be wrong. It woudl also make those who do not like gender specific titles unhappy (we had a complaint at work from someone third sex who was incredibly unhappy about being forced to provide a title when there were no appropriate options).

On a lighter note, my sister is a Rev, and that seems to cause no end of trouble (technically her dh is a Major, but doesn't use the title as his army days are a way back now). Rev and Mr is clearly a combination people find tricky.

i don't use post noms either. i like to keep them in reserve to pull out on unsuspecting withery types.

oi, onimo, you're supposed to be asleep

Nope it's time to get up! But no-one else is moving so I'll steal a few more minutes here.

Climber Chick: if you really want to double up at the front, you need to become such a good doctor (or good officer) that you're knighted. That ruins the unisex nature, as HMQ sticks to traditional forms.

NickofTime: help me out here - what would be the correct feminine of General Sir Rupert Khaki-Darling? General Lady Daphne K-D?

daffers.

definitely.

if that didn't work i'd ring dh and ask him.

or flirt horribly with rupe so he has to divorce her, thereby solving the problem.

am off to my bed now, to dream of the khaki-darlings and pray to god they don't invite me to dinner...

(if all else fails, copy what's on the 'at home' card...)

It should be General Dame Daphne K-D. I wonder if it is, or if there are any.

she wouldn't get promoted that far anyway. daffers would have taken mat leave as a passed over col.

sorry 'spend more quality time with her family', i meant.

I was wondering about that - is it "Dame" if you're writing or speaking about the person, and "Lady" when you!re speaking to them? With Maggie, the press seem to use both and I've never been sure what's right. [Not that I'm ever likely to use such info in RL, but it'ud be nice to know].

lordy, onimo, i want to know now - has there ever been a woman in that situation?

i demand you look it up immediately whilst everyone else is still dozing! i won't be able to sleep now!

everyone seems to be either/ or.

I wouldn't like to leave you as sleepless as I was, so I looked at Debrett's online, and apologise for my bad. Maggie is a life peer, hence she is either Baroness or Lady (male would be Baron or Lord). Daffers would always be a Dame.

just to answer a Q from ages ago - it was on the mailing info that they requested a title. of course, they could just write firstname lastname, but for some reason people get v tetchy when using an envelope and feel the need for titles.

as i have a number of friends with 'no-conventional' or v long names, i tend to write things like 'she who must be obeyed' rather than a name.

friends of ours are a Rev & a Doc. I'm of the opinion that a Rev outranks a Doc & should go first, but the man should go first & he's the Doc. I'd love to see some of the combinations they get. We just write 'RevDoc' or something.

wasn't ann boleyn the first lady ever to get a title in her own right? (that's what i read in a philippa gregory novel, so must be correct)