Bum-pinching incident - weird morality

[togarama]

Our 21 year old Au Pair just mentioned to me that a man had pinched her bum while she was using a cash machine one night recently.

He was standing with a goup of drunken friends but being a confident, strong-willed person (and there being lots of others out on the high street on a Saturday night) she turned round and gave them hell at the top of her voice.

Not being afraid to create a public scene, our AP then continued to tell them that they had no right to touch her or any other woman without permission, if they were interested in a woman they should start a conversation, buy a drink etc..

There was no apology but they conceded that they had "chosen the wrong person" (as she's close to 6 foot tall, nearly went into swimming at professional level and has an advanced judo qualification, they don't know how close to the mark they are...).

I was struck by the fact that they seemed to think that if they'd done this to someone less able to stand up for themselves, they wouldn't have done anything wrong!?

V. odd social morality at play here....

Morality has no part in it. It's the old adage "I'm bigger than you so shut the fuck up and bend over"

It's not that they "conceded" that they had chosen the wronge person - i.e. what they did was wrong. It's that they wished they hadn't picked on someone their own size (albeit one woman vs men plural) who would answer them back.

They set out to scare a woman and make her feel vulnerable, and they (outwardly at least) failed. Next time they'll be more careful to pick on someone little, shy, quiet voiced or unable to run away.

Fucking bullying pricks.

It's nothing to do with morality. They knew they were doing something wrong, but they thought they would get away with it. They didn't, so clearly they chose the wrong person.

Good for her. And maybe I'm a optimist but it's possible she might have made one or two of them think.

Well...I'm 5 5" and when a man in a crowded shop pressed up against me in a pervy manner (I felt his erection) , he found himself on his arse on the floor....size has nothing to do with a persons will to defend themselves. I can still see the expression on his face now.

Good for you ForMash - I meant it figuratively more than literally really :)

Really where are the female strike squads patrolling the town centres at night for these arseholes?

well done your AP and formash.

i agree with otehrs. tehy conceded nothing tehy just thought "oh shit didn't get away with it this time"

Ah. We picked the wrong person aka you are at fault for not liking this. A normal woman would have liked it. There's something wrong with you.

Classic fuckwit mentality.

ForMashGetSmash: brilliant - well done!

yep hecate said it better than i did.

I know you meant it figuratively...but there's nothing worth talking about with regards the sexual grabbing of women other than the best tactics for defence.

gross generalisation, but... perhaps men are more inclined than women to see "what is ok" as "what you can realistically get away with" rather than "what the rules say". I don't mean in terms of sexual behaviour, I just mean generally. I find it much harder to manage men than women because part of my job becomes actively, daily, reinforcing boundaries, rather than just saying once what is acceptable on any issue and expecting them to remember it and act on it.

My DD is a very petite, 5ft 2, 20 year old and was in a takeaway late one night recently with her friends, there were a group of older men (late 20's) behind them and one of them was jostling the girls and making comments about how they were dressed, he went to grab DD so she punched him square in the face, his mates laughed at him and told him he deserved it.

The sad thing was that the takeaway owner asked him if he was ok and if he wanted to call the police.

"Boys will be boys" is IMO another way of saying "I will let this boy get away with ignoring instructions and boundaries because of his gender privilege".

vezzie i don't think men are more inclined i think society has let men away wirh bending and testing the rules whereas historically women must conform or risk the wrath of a man. i don't think it is anything to do with inclination in a biological sense if that is what you mean.

no, in no way biological - I agree