TTC after taking a new job

[AmandaCooper]

I would value your opinions on this awful dilemma I have.

I've been with my current employer for four years and I'm very very unhappy here. I desperately want to move to work somewhere else, but it is terrible timing. I'm nearly 33 and want to start a family.

I feel absolutely terrible about even contemplating starting a new job and then potentially going straight off on maternity leave. I feel like it would be a massive breach of trust - i.e. anyone taking me on would be trusting me not to do that. Certainly if I was invited to interview I would do what I could to avoid giving the impression that I was planning a family any time soon.

Regardless of the fact that in a perfect world women would be able to just get on with their careers in the same way as men can (DH has just moved jobs without a thought) I can't help but think that I would get off on the wrong foot by doing this, and could ruin my relationship with my new employer for good.

What would you do?

I think you need to go for it - the job and the TTC!

You can't let an uncomfortable feeling wrt to new employer have such a massive impact on your own life.

You don't know how long it might take you to TTC.

Check out entitlement to maternity pay etc - I think you get the statutory amount via maternity allowance if you've not been with the employer for long.

If a company does enhanced maternity benefits then they may have a qualifying period but you wouldn't know until you started.

You go on maternity leave and they get a temp in and then if you return then have a loyal employee. Men and women leave jobs all the time - if someone goes on maternity leave it's BETTER - because they often come back and are very loyal employees.

Also I always used to assume that people know that companies do not bear much of the cost of maternity leave - the statutory amount that is.

A normal company only bears 8% of the cost - so 8% of 90% pay for 6 weeks and the 8% of £123ish per week -a small company bears none.

Cab you confirm whether you knew that or not? If not then I think I will try to raise awareness.

Being realistic for your own career prospects if you start a new job and collegues ask about DCs then it may be prudent to be non-committal/jokey - oh I am far too young for that! And when you do become PG let it be known as a happy surprise which is a bit early for your life plan.

One other thoght - moving comanies often means you lose accrued redundancy protection as it works on a number of years worked.

So you need to try to make sure any new company has ok financial prospects.

Is there anything which you can do within your current company to make things better - what is the problem in your current job?

Thank you for your helpful reply. To answer your questions, provided I don't start trying before I actually start a new job I would be in the same position in terms of statutory maternity pay entitlement and I don't get contractual. Not too worried about redundancy pay as it would only be £1,500 anyway. My main concern would be losing my protection from unfair dismissal.

I do know about the payment of maternity pay but I'm an employment lawyer so not typical. I feel that I've just about exhausted every avenue here to turn things around. I've been looking for another job for a while now but I'm in two minds because of wanting to ttc.

Sods law if you want you wont get pg if you move you will. So your probably better off moving.

Ok as I don't seem to be able to type tonight. If you don't move you won't get pg. If you do you will.

There. Better

Yes, the law of inverse fertility dictates that if you want to get pregnant you must move jobs.

If you're 33 and married employers will be expecting you to go on maternity leave soon anyway.

As others ahve said you cant put your life on hold for 'maybes'. If you want a new job, apply for one. If you want to TTC, go for it.
There is no such thing as the perfect time to have a baby.

A word of warning though. If you would really, really need your income after mat leave be carful about which employer you choose. 30000 women a year are sacked for getting pg. I was one of them. And once you've been sacked, in this economy it's really hard to get back to work.

Trillian and seeyoukay that's probably true! Foreverastudent I hadn't thought about the possibility they could sack me.

Should I wear my wedding ring to interviews or take it off do you think?

I think my problem is is that I feel like I would be responsible for reinforcing the market's negative perception of female applicants of a certain age, thereby making things worse for the woman who comes along after me. I feel guilty for contemplating something that would reinforce a negative stereotype at the expense of other women.