Work on abusvie relationships/rape in schools

[chocolatestar]

I would like to develop this. I actually have done a bit before when I was at college but that was with a group of other students and we were able to perform a half hour play and then workshop it. This would have to be something I could deliver on my own.

I also started some development work with some girls last term but it was cut short when I suddenly lost my father but I was struck by how horrible the girls were about other girls who were clearly vulnerable. For example one girl who sounded like she just let men use her, so terrible self esteem and bad boundaries was repeatedly referred to as a slut etc. Actually when I did the stuff when I was at college it was the girls again who were the worst at upholding rape myths etc. I guess on some level it made them feel safe.

Anyway I want to pick this work up again and see if I can come up with something workable and wondered if anyone had any thoughts on it or if they knew anywhere that it was happening already. I am a drama teacher so I would be using drama to deliver it.

I have no ideas about this but wanted to bump for you

I am sorry to hear about your father.

what about doing some drama on "what is abuse"?
some people dont know what abuse is-and dont realise their being abused.
and you could put in it that things like name calling is also abusive?
and you could do a bit on how people feel when all of this happens?

I think its brilliant and i think it should be part of the curriculum anyway. Theres often various charitys doing lessons about bullying / prejudice in my area.

One thing though, i dont think id go with the general " calling names is abusive ",,what about gaslighting, minimising , eg , the less well known that are hard to spot and make you feel like your going mad ,, people telling you how you feel.

Sexual abuse too, i would focus on the less obvious as well, and include pressurising , sulking , whining , threats to go elsewhere , and the whole idea that boys needs sex and we sgould provide it.

God my spellings bad.

My OH watched a television programme where teenagers were asked about sex.

The bit which affected him the most was about pubic hair; all but one boy said they wouldn't have sex/go out with a girl who wasn't fully shaven/depilated and every girl said she removed all of her pubic hair because "you just have to, or nobody will want you".

I went to an all-girls' school and there was total demonisation of girls in unhappy situations. One girl a couple of years below was sexually assaulted by a boy in her social circle (so well-off parents, private school(, and she was ostracised for "making a fuss" and "being a slut". Like the other girls thought that if they could draw a clear line between 'her' and 'us' they would be safe, because only sluts and trouble makers have stuff like that happen, it won't happen to them, isn't their problem.

Sansa was that just a normal bunch of children in the UK?

Is it really normal for our girls to remove all their pubic hair? I find that mind-boggling - I can't believe it. Had they chosen children who would say that to make a point IYSWIM?

Sorry i don't know how old they were on the prog - children/teenagers/young people

I wasn't blaming them, it was just an observation really. The girl was their friend which was why it surprised me. Mostly it made me feel really sad for them all as they must all feel under a lot of pressure.

I need to do more research on the best approach. Not sure if it would be better done single sex, at least some of the time, in the hope that the girls feel free to talk more openly.

"Basically these girls are having to deal with a situation where they are viewed as sexually secondary to boys" - probably I am an idiot but I'd never thought of it in those terms before. That's it exactly - girls are allowed to have sex, but only if they place boys' desires/demands/pleasure above their own.

I think to be able to do role play of negative relationship patterns and compare it with low self esteem scenario and high self esteem /assertive woman scenario would be really helpful to young adolescent women in a drama class,to teach them they dont need to lose their own identity in a relationship.Teaching them about negative patterns like co dependence and also imprinted values of what a relationship should be.All about opening young minds to acceptable behaviour and spotting signs of abuse ,I think its a great idea .I saw the channel 4 series last summer ,the sex education one and it showed young boys pictures of breasts and the majority chose the fake boob jobs as their choice.It really showed me the pressure on our young women when the boys values are so endoctrinated by
fake media images.
Boosting self confidence in the classroom !Well done Star !

this is the stuff that perents should do.

school is for academia

i watched gok wan take self image issues of young people to the education minister and he lobbied for it to be part of the curriculum.

whilst i do not doubt that your suggestion and Goks suggestion are worthy causes and information that needs to be given to children... i am sick to bloody death of imparting this wider knowledge through schools. schools should focus on ACADEMIA. teachers do not have the time or the resources. the rpessuers on the system are huge. children are leaving with no qualifications, no aim in life, no hope and no ambition - yes perhaps they have no self esteem, they think that sex is their only commodity, they may listen to media hype about self image - but this IS NOT what school is for.

this is what YOU are for . YOU YOU YOU as a parent.

if you are a shit parent, you need to be educated. there needs to be a cultural shift in many many different ways, this is only ONE. parental classes are needed. invest in US as parents. the only education we have as parents is what we learn from our parents. If you were brought up in a culture that thinks these things are ok, then you are not going to teach your child differently becuase as a parent , you wont necessarily know its wrong. so educate US, stop using the bloody schools to educate on everthing - there isn't enough time in the day. this isn't a shortcut. parenting by proxy really scares me. the principle of the thing. bypass parents, dont invest in parents, go straight to the kids. becuase if we teach the kids this for an hour a term for ONE school year, then they will learn so much that they will in turn teach their children 1,5,10 years later. its bullshit.
bulllllshit.

teach us, teach society. shore up and bolster basic values in parenting. invest in us - we can do it.

If only Custardo ,i completely understand where you are coming from but i just dont think half the parents in bad relationships even know they are.Do you know people who would be willing to attend evening classes etc after their days work ,to arrange childcare and look at a presentation etc?Then discuss the topics with their kids in a frank and open manner !I think there is very much a place for this in school,i think social education has a huge part to play in our future society and should be govt funded.How else do you break the cycle of dysfunction,empower the youth through education .I dont believe education is purely academia, it is about producing confident young people who stay on track thru their teens and fulfil their potential !

they stay on track and fulfil their potential through good parenting. or they should

yes i believe that with the right investment parents could go to classes, daytime or evening or weekend with childcare provided they should be encouraged to do so as a condition of the reciept of child benefit

All I'm saying is there are thousands of kids that dont have the luxury of good stable ,consistent parenting ,Lord knows i wish they did and often they are the ones with low self esteem ,following unhealthy behavioural patterns in the home.I just think their is nothing wrong with a block of drama classes ,tackling young women's issues in relationships.If it is all role play no one has to talk about their own experiences if they dont want to ,but they are free to do so if they wish and they are still taking in vital knowledge.

yes i see what you are saying, your subject matter is very important. however we differ on who should deliver it.

i agree that lots of children do not have the ideal homelife that would teach the, this stuff which is why i believe there needs to be investment in universal parenting classes to change the piss poor cultural norms in some areas.

I once worked for a great theatre company that delivered their work to both pupils in school and also to parents in the evening. I thought it was a great way to work although mostly we were preaching to the converted as those who turned up were usually fairly up on the issues we were tackling anyway. I think it would be great if work like this was done in a more community focussed way rather than just at school, whether it will every happen is another story I guess.

I don't agree that school is just for academia. We've had employers complaining to us for years that pupils leave school with qulifications but unable to communicate well or work with other people. Also lots of pupils are not academic in nature but have other skills. Many of the pupils who take my subject are like that for example and practical subjects can give them an opportunity to do well.

On the other hand I don't think schools can teach things like self esteem. I don't think school could have given me confidence for example as there was too much damamge being done at home. I do think even one factual lesson on sexual violence could have made a difference though. If I had known for example that someone you know could rape you, that it wasn't just stranger danger all the time, I probably would have got support earlier for example.

I don't know, it's really difficult. Maybe it isn't my place to wade in there and try and tackle these topics, what right do I really have. On the other hand I hate doing nothing about and maybe it could make a small difference to someone. Who knows.

I think self esteem comes from positive achievement and having the competence to deal with day to day situations ,i guess i am probably talking about educating young people about the dangers of controlling and manipulating partners and its ok not to give in to such behaviours.I think pupils being around assertive teachers is great and positive role models that wish to speak out about such subjects is a gift of knowledge .You plant the seed as an educator and to think young women could leave school having been introduced non biasedly to this subject surely is a positive.I would love that women in Britain could stand up freely and talk about such issues regardless of class or age .The few that do are still in the minority .Keep educating Star ,keep planting the seeds x