Minor challenge to workplace sexism

[SuseB]

Thought I'd just share latest experience of challenging sexist remarks when they are made... 'colleague' of mine, on discovering there were no teabags left, looked around the office (three women, three men in immediate vicinity) and says 'How do we get more teabags, which woman round here orders them?' - insulting question as none of us do, we all do non-admin jobs and he knows this, delivered with wink to male members of staff - which actually almost made me choke in rage, so I said 'No one round here will bloody well order them if that's how you're going to ask. Jeez.' Was possibly not the best retort as was off the cuff, but will now be on the lookout to correct further comments he might choose to make (he has form, but this was first in front of me). Am sure have now been marked down as 'one of those women' who will not 'have a laugh'. [humourless emoticon]

He's a knob. You should put a sign up (gotta love passive aggressive signs, not just for student fridges) "he who uses the last teabag, orders the next pack. Derek" or whatever his name is lol!

SuseB - yeah - go you for saying something!

Have a look at www.stopsexistremarks.org/ for inspiration/motivation with these inane comments.

Scroll down the blog for my story - July 19th! BTW I didn't submit it - they just "found" it here!

So they de-constructed what I did into a 1,2,3:

1. Say you find the joke/comment inappropriate for our current time and especially coming from someone in an official capacity (eg at work as a work collegue).

1. Appeal to the better side of the "offender" by telling them that you "know" that they support women in your field/office/organisation.

1. Explain that sexist remarks do matter because language shapes behavior and has lots of consequences on our society (and if he wants more info you'd be more than happy to oblige).

The thing is though I did the above following a ton of research. I am just looking for an out of the blue moment now to test out the approach.

You may want to post them here My Fault I'm Female

great link slug thanks - have bookmarked!

Thanks for posting these links.

This reminds me of when I started a temp office job, about 11 years ago. I was given a tour by the office manager, then introduced to the director. We shook hands and he said "I'm not used to shaking hands with a woman!"

I was only 19 and was so shocked I couldn't reply. I wish I'd had a clever, witty comeback!

I now believe these sorts of remarks ought to be challenged. Not just when directed at me, but if I see it happening to another woman I feel I should speak up as well.

Good one SuseB, you will probably have been marked down as "humourless", but more importantly you will have been marked as "don't mess with" which hopefully includes "don't make sexist remarks in the vicinity of" - this can only be a good thing for the others in the office too.

Now, make sure none of you do order them. If it's something that one of you 7 people has to do, write down the name and company no and put it on Derek (or whatever)'s desk tomorrow morning. Is he more or less senior than you?

AV - I wouldn't have known what to say other than "Blimey, you've led a sheltered life!"