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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Differences in maternity and paternity leave = massive sexism?

73 replies

Ryuk · 19/08/2010 03:59

Why is leave assigned by parental sex (or on a major/minor division in the case of same-sex couples) instead of per child and divisible at the parents' decision? Isn't it sexist to say that as a female, I can have as much as X time off but my partner can have less? Not everyone needs that much time to physically recover, and some fathers/second partners would prefer to be able to contribute eaqual time.

Is there some kind of campaign for this yet?

OP posts:
LackingInspiration · 19/08/2010 07:11

I think that in some progressive countries (maybe just one? COuld it be HOlland?), that is how it's done. A year (or something) of leave for a parent and it's up to the parents to decide who gets it or whether to split it.

YOu'd have to make sure there was still a bit of time immediately after the birth IMO, for both parents to be off work, like hte current paternity leave allows for.

traceybath · 19/08/2010 07:13

I've always assumed it was too facilitate breastfeeding but am probably wrong.

LackingInspiration · 19/08/2010 07:20

I think that the amount of maternity leave a country allows does seem to have an effect on the continuation of breastfeeding - but surely that should still be up to the couple? I wonder what would happen, though, if antentally a couple planned to split their parental leave fairly early in the baby's life, but then the woman enjoyed breastfeeding so much that she wanted to continue it longer (ie. earlier than one would usually if one were returning to work - easier to return to work and still bfeed if it's later in baby's life).

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/08/2010 08:03

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Sakura · 19/08/2010 08:26

I think breastfeeding is a hugely important issue in this discussion.
I also think the woman's recovery after the birth is an issue. I had 2 homebirths so no complications like C-section, but even so I was anaemic for a while afterwards. I read it can take 18 months for iron levels to replenish.

My point is not that women should be stopped from going back to work if they want, god no! BUt that I don't think a woman should be forced to go back because her partner wants to take 6 months off in the name of 'equality'. YOu have to be careful that men don't use and abuse laws designed to protect women.

sprogger · 19/08/2010 08:33

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sarah293 · 19/08/2010 08:37

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Portofino · 19/08/2010 08:39

LOL at the idea of staying home with the baby as a "break" though....

sarah293 · 19/08/2010 08:41

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Sakura · 19/08/2010 08:44

Ah! Very true

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/08/2010 08:58

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sprogger · 19/08/2010 08:59

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Sakura · 19/08/2010 09:05

SGM, No I didn'T mean in cases of DV. I meant in cases where the mother wants to BF for a year or more, but feels she has to return to work so Dad can have his chance of playing house.
I think breastfeeding is a huge feminist issue, perhaps moreso even than maternity/paternity leave

sprogger · 19/08/2010 09:10

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Sakura · 19/08/2010 09:13

sprogger, I agree. there's no reason why dads can't take over in the evenings and take the kids somewhere at weekends so the mother can work/chill out. The person who doesn't take parental leave doesn't necessarily have to spend less time with their children.

It's just...I dunno, I've got a bad feeling about this 50/50 idea that feminists have got.
Louis de Bernieres (whose work is pretty misogynistic by all accounts) is divorcing his wife apparently and has made a public statement that he believes the out-dated idea that children go to the mother upon divorce should be changed.
The idea that children should go to the mother is a ver verynew idea, not an out-dated idea. It only came in since the women's movement. In mOst patriarchies over the world including Japan where I live, the children belong to the father. The mother doesn't have any rights in any countries as far as I know, but some countries allow the kids to go to her in the best interest of the children. Which is great. BUt I see a lot of these equality laws being used against women by men, I really do.
Now Louis de Bernieres was hardly ever home according to his friends, and pretty much left his wife to it, but whenever there's a divorce, suddenly these men are all for a 50/50 stake in the children. If a man took 6 months paternity leave a woman wouldn't stand a chance of holding onto her children.

I'm not saying I know the answers, I'm just saying I've got an uneasy feeling about it all

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/08/2010 09:14

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tethersend · 19/08/2010 09:17

Iceland has a system of dividing leave between parents, and it seems to work well, although I read about it pre financial meltdown.

tethersend · 19/08/2010 09:19

Interesting article about life in Iceland in 2008 with particular comment on paternity leave and the average age of parents

Sakura · 19/08/2010 09:20

Iceland is like the Goddess of feminism, so I'm going to look at that, thanks!

Sakura · 19/08/2010 09:22

Yes SGM, I actually take my baby to work only very part time but, I think that's the way forward.

Portofino · 19/08/2010 13:07

That article is very interested tether. I might go and pack....Grin

Portofino · 19/08/2010 13:08

interesting I mean....

tabouleh · 19/08/2010 13:11

Article about paternity leave in Sweden - sorry posting and running - hope to return to the thread later.

DuelingFanjo · 19/08/2010 13:13

breastfeeding and birth I recon.

tethersend · 19/08/2010 13:28

I was practically on the plane when I read it, Porto Grin

I console myself now with the fact that their economy imploded.

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