How to respond to misogyny from women?

[Fluteyboots]

Hi, this is my first post here, but I have lurked for a while as the debate is so thought provoking. I would not have called myself a feminist before, but have found a different definition of it on these pages....

My question, which I would be really interested in hearing some of your thoughts on is this.
When I went on maternity leave, my cover was a man, who I would say was pretty equal to me in ability. A female member of my team said to me before I went off that she would miss me, but that it would be nice to have a man in charge for a few months. I was really taken aback and didn't know what to say. From a personal perspective I know she thought I was good at my job, but it still bugs me now, as an individual and because of it's wider implication. How would you have handled it? Or was I being over sensitive?

Mabe she meant as a change? I don't think what she meant was sexist. A bit insensitive yes and it would annoy me.

Not the most sensitive thing to have said and maybe it does imply she prefers taking instruction from a man! I'm not sure how I would have handled it - a raised eyebrow in surprise perhaps or a 'joke' so she could now discuss the off-side rule.

I'm not sure if my dept were looking forward to a new face when I left, but on my return, when they said they were glad to have me back, I had no idea how much they genuinely meant it - it took me 6m to undo the damage he did!

Um...I agree with poshsinglemum. Don't see it as misogyny at all, just 'nice to have a change'.

Agree with others, she probably just meant it would be nice for a change.

Ok I will stop being over sensitive, and next time be brave enough to ask what they meant!

Thanks for the sanity check!,

FWIW Fluteyboots, I don't think you're being oversensitive. Nothing you said in the OP implies that she just meant it would make a nice change. Maybe that is what she meant but it's still an odd thing to say and I would definitely ask her what she meant by it.

She probably just meant it innocently, but I agree with you that I would be a bit over that - whether she realises it or not the subtext is that being managed by a woman is hard work.

I would find it really off too. If she'd said "nice to have someone else in charge around here!" as a joke it'd be ...ok. But she was clearly indicating that she thought that there would be a big difference between having a female boss and a male one. Worth asking why?