Would you tell your adult children you had bladder cancer?

[Alisonjayne8]

I recently went to have my regular botox in my bladder as I have a weak bladder. They found a very small tumour and stopped the botox immediately. They said it is very small, the size of a sesame seed and I am having it out very soon, its been 7 weeks in total from diagnosis to the operation.
I have two adult children, should I tell them or keep it quiet?

No definitely not. I might tell him when it was successful treated but probably not. He couldn't help. He's not biologically related to me, so no reason for him to know medically. Most bladder cancer is treated as an outpatient, in which case I wouldn't even tell DH. Our 90 year old neighbour has his removed every year or so and until recently was going on the bus and coming home in a cab.

Yes, but I would make sure I had accurate information to give them before doing it.

Depending on stage bladder cancer can be highly curable. I'd want to be able to tell them that if it applied to me before they freak out over the C-word.

I really hope everything goes well for you, OP.

I'm not sure - I think if I had a child who panicked then I'd probably tell them afterwards when I knew the prognosis. Hopefully in your case everything will be well. I think I'd rely on friends instead beforehand.

I think a lot of children of single parents panic at the thought of something happening to their mum. It's a lot for them to handle. If they were just going to worry too much beforehand, I'd rather they didn't know.

Probably I would not tell.

I would tell them when there was something they could do that I needed or if the prognosis was so bad that they deserved to know.

Prognosis good & recovery plan very feasible without them knowing: no need to bother them.

Yes I would. I've been having cancer treatment over the last year and other relatives have had the same type of cancer as me. Sharing medical history is important.

Of course

My grandma recently lied to us about having cancer, prognosis seemed okay so she chose not to worry us.
I also the ‘protected one’ as my mental health isn’t always great, you’ll often find that people like that handle the worst of news better than most.

she unexpectedly died on a day we were due to visit and it’s been truly horrendous since

just tell them, they can handle it x