When did you realise burnout was affecting your health?

[SCOPA]

I’ve noticed a lot of women push through exhaustion, stress, and even physical symptoms because life is just “too busy” to stop. At what point did you realise burnout was actually affecting your health? And what small changes genuinely helped?

When I was so exhausted I didn’t even have the energy to eat. Lost loads of weight and ended up in hospital. Took more than a year to recover.

Over the last year or two, but I don't know what to do about it. 2 DCs, one still in primary. Self employed work that had quiet periods, so I took on another job that's great, but seriously full on. Then the original work picked up again... Perimenopause. Autism. Single mum.

I've already cut all the fat out, as it were. I don't do any of the primary school nonsense except for what's absolutely essential. I've stopped dating because frankly it required so much energy and I wasn't getting much back in return. The only other things I can give up are friendships and exercise, and I'm neglecting both- to my detriment.

Terrible skin. Eventually pneumonia (in 30s)

Finally realized it was time to stop the superwoman act and prioritize doing less

For me it unfortunately culminated in a breakdown which was essentially a severe, lengthy anxiety attack which lasted several weeks. I was totally incapacitated. Couldn't speak, eat etc. Slowly but surely got better. Started seeing my therapist again, stopped drinking alcohol, stopped depending on codeine to "take the edge off" and just basically faced my life. A big part of the burn out was stress from realising my dd was ND and the management of it had just taken over our lives. I had to work really hard to reframe my thinking around that. Walking is a life saver for me. Cliche but true. I don't know what I'd be like without it!

Last year, not long before Christmas. I had a completely wobbly at home one evening caused entirely by a very stressful ongoing situation at work, and DH suggested I took early retirement. So that's what I did.

I had burn out for years I just didn't recognise it. I was being pulled in all directions mentally/emotionally and physically everything was on me. I had things on my mind constantly. My house was a tip because I just didn't have the energy I was letting everything go but doing so much for other people. I didn't recognise it myself one day something clicked and I started saying no. Putting in some boundaries. One person said how selfish I was. But I just couldn't do it anymore. I also distanced myself emotionally. I stopped taking on other peoples stuff. That doesn't mean I'm not there at all it's just I'm a bit more arms length than I used to be. I felt guilty but I also felt a massive weight lift. Around this time I statred having some issues with food as well . I don't really understand that part though especially since I felt putting in some boundaries was the right thing to do. My life is much more peaceful now and I'm manging better.

That sounds incredibly rough. It’s scary how far things can go before we realise how burnt out we actually are. Glad you recovered eventually.

I had to make big changes to job and lifesyle and have a two year career break then return to it with a different perspective having rebuilt my health and confidence. I wasn't until I was 42 that I found a job in the legal profession that wasn't actively making me unwell, certainly after having kids anyway.

When I was working full time, looking after my mum who had dementia* and rushing to hospital to visit my Dh who had had a stroke.

I finally got Mum into respite and Dh was transferred from the awful Acute Stroke ward to the stroke rehab ward at the best rehab ward in Fife.

That night, I went to bed expecting to feel relief but thought I was having a heart attack. I wasn't. It was just palpitations. A lovely nurse from NHS Scotland's out of hours line talked me through it and organised for me to see my GP the next day.

*Mum was still in her own home. We'd just finished building an extension to move her in with us but there was a problem, so I was going to work, rushing to hospital, rushing to Mum's, sleeping there and then driving home for a shower before going to work again.

I'm just asking myself when enough is going to be enough. I'm averaging 4 hours sleep per night, working late and caring for DC, one of whom is disabled, and supporting DP with managing his ongoing health condition. I'm committed to my work, but realise it is taking a lot: I've sacrificed any semblance of work life balance because it is what is expected in the profession. I'm just shutting my laptop now, after working since 5pm. I hide the extra hours I work from home from DP.

I'm run down, sick and exhausted, don't see my friends or relatives. I'm scared of my inbox and my phone. The crunch came this afternoon when I realised I am sort of flinching at dealing with even the most basic life admin such as insurance renewals and bills, instinctively wanting to put off engaging with what should be simple, every-day tasks. I need to change something, not sure what. Too busy to actually think about it properly.

Honestly, that sounds like far too much for one person to carry. No wonder you feel exhausted. I think so many women end up sacrificing the things that actually help them cope because everything else feels more urgent.