I'm looking for advice/reassurance as I have no idea what's going on! I'll try not to waffle (who am I kidding, I've got ADHD!) 😂
Back story:
I (39) and my DH (39) have 2 kids, DS1 6 years and DS2 4 years. I never knew how many I wanted but what's dreamt of a girl. Obviously I've got 2 boys, but I never got that 'done' feeling - do most people get this or isn't it the thing I think it is? I see so many friends saying their 'family is complete' after a second child for example. Regardless of what gender (although I would love a girl!) I want a third child.
So, when I realised I wasn't done, I broached the subject of a third with DH. He loves our boys, but said he wasn't sure about another, was worried how we'd cope, etc (DS1 may have ADHD like me, so can get very emotional, etc), but said he wasn't saying no. I've mentioned it fairly often, he'd put his hand on my stomach, say he missed feeling kicking etc, that would lead me to believe he was more open to the idea, but this hope would be quashed as soon as we DTD and he panicked.
We had more frank discussions, I pointed out I am nearly 40, who knows how long it would take to conceive, I also pointed out he's been saying the same thing for getting on for a year or two now. He said he didn't want to rule it out, but he would be said if I said I didn't want any more. 🤷🏼♀️
Anywho, despite worries etc, we haven't been particularly careful, but not really trying if you know what I mean, I kind of wanted to just see what happens, not necessarily go mad, but he's still on the fence. It got to a point where I've lost interest in DYD because the end goal isn't there for me and without too much detail, the quality is lacking. I can't cope with the getting my hopes up in case each month, just for the teeniest of chances, so I told my husband I'm no longer interested in having more kids and therefore, to prevent further disappointment, I'm not that bothered about DTD, to be honest, my urge hasn't been great for a while anyway, this was an incentive that worked though!
Fast forward to last week, my cycles vary between approx 23-25 days and have done since I was about 30ish, they used to be every 28 days when I was younger. My last period was 24th March and normal as I can remember, maybe the just few have been a little heavier at the start than they used to be. 2 weeks prior to this week DTD (poorly I might add 😂)
So Thursday/Friday last week I expected to start, and didn't. This has continued to the point where I am a week late. I've had the odd 30 day cycle before, but they have been very few and far between. I'm now on day 32. I fear I'm in perimenopause, and I'm not ready! Especially as I still want another child (I know if it's perimenopause that is but game over completely. I've had fairly strong period cramps in my lower abdomen since Tuesday (it's now Friday morning) and I've taken ibuprofen which hasn't really helped, I slept with a hot water bottle the other night because I was so uncomfortable. I contacted the doctors and I have an appointment next week with their female team.
Has anyone experienced similar that help me with this all out? I'd really appreciate it!
TL:DR
*I DTD (badly) 2 weeks before my last period in March which was normal
*I've never been this late for a period
*I've never missed a period except when pregnant
*Taken 2 tests, both negative (shouldn't matter not FMU if I was pregnant, as taken whenever?)
*I've had 3 days and counting of low painful period type cramps
*I've had lots of wet CM
*Almost feel like I've a weight/want to push something, think that's the cramps though
*Urine flow seems slower than normal even when really desperate
*Going to doctors next week for help/advice, can't get in sooner
*Is this perimenopause??!
Really need some reassurance this isn't anything horrible!
Thank you 🤞🏼