Feeling really sorry for myself. I want to cry and stamp my feet and shout that it’s not fair. I hated my birth experience with 2 c-sections, but the ONE plus I held onto was that things ‘downstairs’ wouldn’t be as messed up as it potentially would with a vaginal birth. Well the joke is on me. In my early 30s, 8 months pp from second child, my GP confirmed one of my biggest health fears, that I have prolapsed.
I’m waiting for my gynae appointment to confirm the type and stage but I expect it’s at least stage 2. I can feel a bulge all the time and want to cry every time I look with a mirror. And it feels even worse and more descended from the speculum exam 3 days ago!
I genuinely do not understand how this has happened and feel like it’s somehow my fault. I’ve tried to be careful in recovery, I have a very healthy BMI and am relatively in shape, but I guess I was not careful enough. But I also know plenty of women who gave birth both ways who are also carrying their kids around, I don’t think they’re at home doing kegels every day, and they’re even back weight lifting at the gym! Do I just have the worst luck??
The thought of surgery every decade or wearing a pessary for the rest of my life makes me want to scream. I want to be able to lift and play with my kids, get back into shape, have a sex life without being more insecure and self conscious than I already am.
It has me feeling incredibly low and resentful of DH too. Looking for hand hold and anyone who has insight into this issue and life after diagnosis, especially if you received it with young kids.