Vagina after birth

[Viol3tta]

How much does the vagina change after giving birth? Can men feel the difference?

I gained a couple of stone when pregnant but lost it all again quite quickly thanks to breastfeeding, so I look largely the same. Had a Caesarian but it healed well. Didn’t have much sex in pregnancy due to a placenta praevia and tiredness, and have barely had it since.

STBXH hasn’t really been able to sustain an erection since before I was pregnant, so I have only had sex a few times. He’s an alcoholic, a cheat, porn-addicted and generally a nasty bastard to me these days, but I’m wondering if there’s any truth in it feeling different down there.

Nasty, alcoholic, porn-addicted cheat - and the worry is about your vagina?

Really?

Who gives a shit if men can feel the difference? Decent guys understand that you've given birth and will happily wait until you're ready. They might think it's all "looser" but so what?

I'm glad he's soon to be ex.

There’s some mad threads here at the moment 🤔😵‍💫

I mean, it probably does feel different down there post-baby, but I wouldn’t put too much credit in what this man has said!

I had an episiotomy & a couple of tears, I’m confident it does feel different down there, but my husband has certainly never commented on that nor has it impacted our sex life.

As I said in the OP, we’re separating. It’s pretty upsetting. I have a lot of worries, thanks.

He's the problem. Not you.

Maybe after a natural birth, you could argue that it might be different, but not after a C-section. I’ve had two (not my choice!) and my husband jokes that at least my vagina is still intact.. original I know!
Glad you’re leaving him he sounds like a nasty piece of work, come back if you need support xx

Lovely

But you had a c section… your vagina was untouched by the birth. Your vagina was not stretched, or torn during delivery. Your husband probably has convinced you of many faults you don’t have. This is one of them.

It was a planned caesarean so I didn’t actually labour.

He’s implied it’s different now and that’s why he can’t get it up. I think it was more to do with the porn and prostitutes, but wondered if there’s any truth in it.

My exDH, who was a total arse about most things, had sex with a number of women who’d given birth and told me that it makes no difference and any man that says it does must just have a very small penis. He had no reason to lie, I’d not given birth so no skin the game. So based on this and the fact that he was generally mean so he totally would’ve said it made a difference if it would’ve given him „mean points“ it must be true.
Also if you had a section then that doesn’t involve your vagina!
Also, there are bigger problems with this man than his opinion on vaginas!

I know how that reads but I take no offence at it! I tend to agree! We’ve had a tough couple of years with lots of sad news in amongst the birth of our 2 kids (which also came with complications!) and we’ve used humour to deal with it. Plus we’ve always been that couple that makes the overly sexual jokes that make others uncomfortable 😅😅

He sounds like a very damaged man, and hurt people hurt people. Please don’t onboard and internalise any more of his bullsh*t xx

Pregnancy outs pressure on yout pelvic floor regardless of method of delivery. Obviously not to the same degree for a c section as a vaginal birth.

However, given what you know about your husband the likelihood is that he has made up something to try tk make you feel shit and embarrassed and guilty to deflect attention from his impotence.

More power to your elbow in getting rid of him.

If you had a C section your vagina will not be affected. A lot of women's vagina's feel different after natural births and in a lot of cases they do change.
If a man has a problem with it, then he is an arsehole. If a man cannot maintain an erection because it feels different or looser or whatever, I am not sure he can do a lot about that.

This is what I was wondering. I don’t have any leakage or anything but I haven’t really done pelvic floor exercises either.

It’s hard to know what’s real, living with him, sometimes.

If you have a vaginal birth, when they do a smear test later down the line they use a slightly bigger speculum than someone who has not given birth. So you stretch a little bit.

I asked the same question as you did of my male friend, who assured me that he cannot tell the difference in his wife from before and after. He said he was just glad she was interested in him again post baby!

Mines like a wizards sleeve...

You're quite correct, that it's his porn use that is the problem.

It's definitely not you.