Do I tell my partner I have high risk HPV?

[Anotherusername507]

I have been with my partner a year, I did an STD test before we started having unprotected sex and it was all clear. I have since had an abnormal smear and a colposcopy and found out I have HPV a high risk one but not the 16 or 18 which are the very high risk ones.
Obviously my partner and I have had lots of unprotected sex and oral sex. Do I tell him now about it? And possibly lose him also? There is also no test for men and I don't want to alarm him unnecessarily.
But I also feel uneasy not telling him, he has probably already caught it. I'm terrified of him dumping me over this or it affecting our sex life which is amazing. Please help. I am also getting the HPV vaccine asap.

Withholding information that you know might change a person’s decision to have sexual contact is never acceptable.

I agree with @Ponderingwindow

Of course you should tell him. HPV in men can cause cancer of the throat, tongue etc. He needs to be made aware of the risk.

Well, he may have given it to you, right? It is very common.

He probably gave it to you, so yes, he should be made aware that he likely has HPV and has possibly infected previous partners as well.

I told my recent partners. None of them seemed terribly interested, but I told them.

I found out I had HPV and told my partner. He was concerned at first but considering I’ve only had 2 other partners there’s a strong possibility he actually gave me it.
Definitely tell him. My partner was a bit uncomfortable at first but once we discussed it, it was ok.

Well I had my abnormal smear only a couple months after meeting him, so I don't think it was him who has given me the HPV. I found out about the HPV later after my colposcopy results.

I'm definitely going to tell him before we have sex again, I'm so scared he will Google it and panic and then dump me.

He could have had HPV of course before I met him but I definitely think I got it from someone else, as it would hardly show up so quickly within 6 weeks to 2 months.

Potentially not him who gave you it then, but regardless you have it. It’s very common!
I can understand the worry as I felt a bit like that though I’ve been with my partner for 7 years so I just didn’t know whether it was from him or previous partners. But just sit him down and have a chat about it and tell him simply that it is a virus transmitted sexually however it’s very common and also very unlikely to cause anything serious. Last time I checked I’m pretty sure statistics show about 80% of people had it!

If he'd 'dump' you like that, it's not a good relationship anyway.

@Coffee62 thank you and I'm glad things worked out for you. My problem is that I have one of the high risk ones which makes it's harder to tell him but I have to..I want to tell him in a way that it doesn't make it a big deal and worry him unnecessarily.

@Fkubitchh I don't have genital warts

First google of HPV comes up genital warts 🤷‍♀️

If he can visibly see them then it’s his own fault.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

The HPV I have doesn't cause genital warts, it's linked to cervical cancer.

As mentioned in my first post, I have a high risk strain but not the very high risk ones 16 and 18.

Ah I see, I’m really sorry to hear that.
Apologies for the insensitive comments, I thought it was a pretty obvious condition

@Fkubitchh thanks, no problem

To add, I don't have cervical cancer, I had CIN 3 but the gynaecologist did a LLETZ procedure to get rid of the abnormal cells and now I have to go for a follow up smear in January

This is a worry enough as it is but now I have to tell him that he may have HPV as well. He is going to hate me

Have you had unprotected sex with him since knowing you have the virus? If not, he would be very unfair to be angry with you.

Well if he dumps you he’s just going to go give it to someone else . He will most definitely have it now after a year. Also if you’ve had lletz you can’t have sex for a month so what have you told him about that ?