Reasonable adjustment at work following birth injury?

[Iambeat]

I had a bad tear in childbirth in 2024. The symptoms are extremely embarrassing and include incontinence. I need to plan where I go, be there for a short time, have spare clothes and know where the nearest loo is. I’ve worked from home since covid but my employer has requested 40% attendance at an office (1.5 hours away).
I want to ask to continue to work from home (no performance issues) but im dreading having to reveal this embarrassing problem and, potentially, not be allowed to continue working from home. Has anyone had to do this? How did you go about it? What was the outcome?
please refrain from judgement - I find people have strong opinions about home working, which I respect, but this is not the thread for that discussion. thank you.

I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad injury. I hope there’s something that can be done to help?

I have IBS and similar continence concerns when it flares (not all the time but often unpredictable). I appreciate it’s easier to just say ‘I have IBS’ but could you say you have similar symptoms to IBS due to injury (as that saves you going into detail) and perhaps your GP can provide something to support this if needed? My manager organised an occ health referral and abides by the recommendations in that report, including that, as it’s a long-term condition, it’s covered by disability legislation, so that helps if I need to take time off. They are also fine with me working at home at short notice or for prolonged periods. Could you ask for an OH referral, or self-refer?

I also found the more open I was about it, the less embarrassment I felt, eventually. It’s not your fault - you shouldn’t feel embarrassed but I understand why you do.

The previous poster has said exactly what I’d say, get an OH referral and support from your own GP if needed.

The distance to your office isn’t your employers problem so i wouldn’t bring that up, instead you need to work out what reasonable adjustments you would need to be in the office and hope your employer would rather you stay at home eg you need to have a desk no more than 1 minute from your desk and have access to a shower and/or larger toilet (eg disabled toilet) to be able to change in. So many people moved during the wfh years further from work (not sure if you have) that employers do not accept distance as a reason.

How big is your employer. I work for a big employer and have an OH referral at the moment and my manager does not know the details of my health. But DH works for a company with only about 15 employees, and he wouldn’t be able to not discuss it with his manager I don’t think.

My gut feeling is that you have to explain simply and directly the situation & most of all, what you need when you go to office.

My worry is how will you manage the journey, presumably that needs to be on trains with loos? Can you wear incontinence pads for the journey?

Explain the history if you want, although why you have this disability is not their concern, simply "I am disabled and This is what I need" is all they need to know.
It is possible they will ask for documentation, I assume you have some paperwork about your disability. Are you getting any physio or treatment?

It's not your fault you have a disability.
Try to think of it as extremely annoying not "embarrassing" condition. It is not your fault. There is no reason to feel shame about something not your fault.

I assume the distance is more relevant in this situation as the potential incontinence during a 1.5 hr journey is more substantial then a 10 min journey. It’s not the journey as such, it’s the impact of the illness on the journey.

Incontinence is a disability under the equality act so you are entitled to ask for reasonable adjustments. I’m not sure it’s realistic to never go into the office though? But if you’re working from home currently with no problems it’s hard to see why that can’t be the norm.

as an aside, is there really nothing that can be done? UK pelvic/ birth injury care is appalling - we completely normalise peeing when you sneeze etc which other countries are horrified by.

I have Crohn’s disease and bowel prolapse so have similar challenges. My advice would be the same as @TravellingJack.

I’ve been seeing pelvic floor physios and incontinence clinics on and off for years and tbh nothing they have done have really made any difference.

I did have surgery about 14 years ago and sore improvement for around 8-10 years but it’s as bad as ever again now. I’m early 40s so not old.

Its outside of the working day so it's not technically related to the employment. For example, somebody who has epilepsy abd can't drive ... they don't get a shorter working day to compensate how long it takes them to get to work by public transport, or the right to WFH because of transport ... hope that makes sense

Get your GP to write a supporting letter you will need to pay as it’s a private service.

Thanks, yes - it’s the time and access to facilities, im not complaining about being 1 1/2 hours from my office. I have always lived where I am and my employer fully aware of that. Many of us, some in remote parts of Scotland were employed with the employer fully aware of where we lived. But that’s not really what I am raising here.

I had to disclose an equally embarrassing long term gynae condition to my male manager recently, I was really at the point where I had to do it. I was so embarrassed but actually it has been fine and so helpful. I agree with the PP saying not to be embarrassed about something that is not your fault. In my scenario I sort of practised on a female colleague first, so I could think about what to say. I also had an OH referral which was incredibly helpful and echo the previous point about disability legislation which also applies to me. I have adjustments in place at work and I am so glad I was brave enough to do this. You could always ask for a female colleague to sit in if that is more comfortable for you - my colleague offered this which I hadn’t thought of. You deserve to have the adjustments you need so do try to find a way to explain your needs. Good luck xx

But any distance journey could be a problem. If you need to go, you need to go now. That's a complete red herring. Even 5 minutes can be too long if your bowels (or bladder) start(s) to move in minute 2!

The OP needs to be able to remain working at home and that should be perfectly possible.

Longer term OP is there nothing that can be done to repair the birth injury? I see others have also asked this. You shouldn't have to live with it.

I'd suggest incontinence products for journey in but once on site you should have access to a disabled toilet where there is room to clean yourself and change your clothing. You should get a locker to keep spare clothes and clean up things in. Get your GP to say you need disabled toilet access at work. I'd be asking my GP for more treatment though.