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Women's health

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At the end of the road but finding it hard to accept

7 replies

Dumbitdown · 27/05/2025 12:09

After a year and a half waiting I finally got to see a gynaecologist yesterday and they did a scan to update on a previous one from Jan 2024 that showed up two tiny fibroids; one submucosal, which has been giving me godawful bleeding and clots since 23rd December 2023.

After yesterday's scan, which showed a "pretty cystic" endometrial lining, according to the gynae, I've been prescribed a progesterone-only Pill and put in the queue for a hysteroscopy where they'll hopefully remove the submucosal fibroid and/or any polyps that pop up on the camera feed. They'll also take a biopsy and insert a Mirena coil.

My long term relationship didn't make it through fertility treatments and my subsequent relationship of 6 years ended about a month ago due - among other things - to lack of sex for the last year and a bit, and his not really understanding why I wasn't feeling up to it.

Even though I'm turning 42 shortly and still no child after all this and more, I still rolled on, on teeny, battered and squealing wheels of hope that maybe I'd be one of those women...

But the gynae is putting me on medication that takes that false hope away. And then when they do the op, she says, they're going to destroy the lining of my womb and make me truly, definitively barren.

I'm numb. I can't afford to go private. I'm single anyway and whatever delusions I used to keep myself going before won't work anymore. Fuck it. Fuck life.

And now I have to show the Happy for a friend who became a grandmother for the first time today and will share every. single. moment. of that child's development and his mother's alongside him. I AM happy but, selfishly, I'm desperately, desperately sad for myself.

OP posts:
DancingDucks · 27/05/2025 12:13

I'm afraid I can't offer any constructive advice, but I just wanted to say that I am so sorry that you are feeling like this. I know it's easy to say but, if you can, try to focus on getting yourself back to good health. 💐

MounjaroMounjaro · 27/05/2025 12:14

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's heartbreaking.

JasmineTea11 · 27/05/2025 12:17

I'm so sorry OP. You have every right to be sad, even angry. I don't even think you should have to act happy for others, I think it's on them to be super sensitive towards you, given this terribly unlucky situation. It will take you a long time to grieve this lost future. I hope you have some good people around to support you through this, and without expectations about how you deal with it.
Sending hugs.

Shetlands · 27/05/2025 12:18

I'm so sorry. I would have felt exactly the same in your situation. Now is the time to be as kind to yourself as you possibly can be. You don't have to hide your sorrow from others because anyone who cares about you will understand that you're in deep pain at the moment. Let them know, let them comfort and support you. 💐

Azandme · 27/05/2025 12:26

I'm so sorry. I am lucky enough to have a13 year old after 4 years of treatment, due to PCOS and Endo, but I'm still devastated that I couldn't have a second.

I'm 46 now, suffering awful symptoms, and fully aware that a hysterectomy is the only course of action and absolutely certain that I'll never get pregnant again but I still can't bring myself to be the one who closes that door, even though it shut itself years ago.

I can't imagine how hard it would be if I didn't have dd. Please be gentle with yourself, and make the right choices for your whole self, not just your physical wellbeing. Therapy may help.

Mightyhike · 27/05/2025 13:39

I'm so sorry OP. This is terribly sad for you and you have a right to grieve. Look after yourself Flowers

Dumbitdown · 28/05/2025 19:34

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I don't know why I posted to be honest, I just had to get the words out as was sitting at my desk in work with everyone going on as normal and chattering away, and I just felt like the tears were going to burst out of me, all day. However, it is comforting to read words of people who do understand or can at least fathom what it feels like. Thank you so much.

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