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Women's health

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Feel alone

4 replies

Thumbelinahope · 30/04/2025 16:39

Hi, I don't know where else to turn to. Afew days ago I was in the shower and was doing a breast exam only to find a small lump. I called the gp, they had me in very quickly (very grateful because i know others who have had to wait weeks/months to see a gp)
I was given an appointment this morning where the doctor gave me a breast exam. When it was over, she left the room (foundation doctor) to go and speak to another doctor. I heard them talking for a good while, but did not hear what they were saying. A while later she came back in and said she has found a large lump and due to its size, I need to be referred to the breast clinic. My left breast is slightly larger than the right. I have gained a significant amount of weight over the last couple of years, my breast size has also increased. I'm not used to having big breasts, so this is new to me.

Is all hope lost ? I'm crumbling mentally. It can be a couple of weeks before I am seen at the breast clinic.

I was surprisingly fine when she told me what she had found and was absolutely fine on my way out the gp practice.

While driving home I began to think dark thoughts "if its as big as the doctor says that means it's stage 4!" "I wonder how long I have left, will it be weeks? Months? It has probably spread everywhere"

I have young children, cancer doesn't care who you are or how old your children are. I work in palliative care....so this is all getting to me. I'm trying to distract myself. I have moments where I tell myself to shut up because nothing is confirmed yet, but I think it's human nature to assume a lump in the breast is never a good sign :(

Sorry for my rant. Has anyone been through something similar? And did you spiral in what I could only describe as mental torture. Life was normal last week.

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 30/04/2025 16:44

I'm sorry you're going through this op but I would just say do not get ahead of yourself. Lumps in the breast can be a range of things and not all of them are harmful and many women who do get diagnosed with breast cancer come through the other side of it. Have they given any indication how long you'll need to wait for your appointment now?

I think lots of meditation and breathing exercises, walking, keeping yourself busy with work and your kids, leaning on the people who love you who you can trust not to overreact and who will keep a level head and support you will all be important for this limbo period. Every time you get into the spiral of dark thoughts just challenge it (out loud if you need to) "we're not at that point yet"

ladyflower23 · 30/04/2025 18:49

Hi OP
I'm in a similar boat to you. I've had a lump in my breast for ages which felt like a cyst (I get them frequently so usually just wait for them to go away) but this one hasn't. It kept getting larger and has now changed shape so I contacted GP and had appointment today. I still thought it was a cyst so wasn't too worried but she was visibly and audibly shocked by how big it is and immediately made a referral. I then looked on the NHS app at the referral form and she described it as hard and suspicious which then freakd me out that it is in fact cancer and I'm going to die because I ignored it for so long. It probably is a cyst though. I've had two of them before that were really large and appeared quickly the same as this so I've half talked myself back down.
So hope this in someway makes you feel less alone and also offers reassurance that big lumps don't always mean bad.

Thumbelinahope · 20/05/2025 02:15

@ladyflower23 Hi lady
My apologies for the delay in reply. I am so sorry you are going through this too :( it is such an awful rollercoaster isint it :(

How are you now? Have you been seen? I have everything crossed for you for a good outcome ❤️ thank you very much for your support

OP posts:
Thumbelinahope · 20/05/2025 02:17

Lavender14 · 30/04/2025 16:44

I'm sorry you're going through this op but I would just say do not get ahead of yourself. Lumps in the breast can be a range of things and not all of them are harmful and many women who do get diagnosed with breast cancer come through the other side of it. Have they given any indication how long you'll need to wait for your appointment now?

I think lots of meditation and breathing exercises, walking, keeping yourself busy with work and your kids, leaning on the people who love you who you can trust not to overreact and who will keep a level head and support you will all be important for this limbo period. Every time you get into the spiral of dark thoughts just challenge it (out loud if you need to) "we're not at that point yet"

Hi @Lavender14 I just want to say a massive thank you for your comment. It really did help me in so many ways. I assumed I was an urgent referral...to be seen within 2 weeks, but the gp downgraded it to the 4 week referral. I won't be seen until the 29th of May. It is awful

OP posts:
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