Body image

[Applecider96]

A couple of years ago I made an appointment with my doctor about a deformity I have. He didn't confirm anything in particular, but he referred me to a psychotherapist. I stupidly didn't go because I thought I was just going to be told it's body dismorphia and "everyone is different". But this makes me hate myself. On my worst days I fantasise about hurting myself. I am worried if I speak to the doctor about how it truly makes me feel, that being a new mum, the social will be involved or something along those lines. I'm worried they will think it is some sort of post partum depression, when in reality it has affected me my whole life. I guess the hormones don't help. I am worried I will be seen as unstable instead of being helped. What can I do?

Hi OP

As this is something you have experienced for a long time, you probably have a good handle on whether it’s PPD or not.

Having said that, is it coming up more in your thoughts and do you know why? Is it because as a mum, you would like to be rid of it so that you are able to fully concentrate on your child? Or perhaps, that you are worried about teaching them how to view their body in a healthy way?

Honestly, I would consider going back to the doctor. I expect the person you saw just wanted to help you explore your feelings so that you can manage them. I don’t think they will be worried about your child, especially as you seem very able to articulate your specific problem which has been ongoing.

Oh, and Congratulations on the birth of your little one! I wish you both all the best.