Taking my baby to my Breast Clinic appointment or going alone

[RosiePH]

This is probably the wrong forum but hopefully might still reach an audience who can help!

One of my nipples has retracted after using an electric breast pump. I really hope it’s just nipple trauma but my GP has referred me to the breast clinic on the 2 week urgent pathway. I’m absolutely terrified, as my maternal grandmother died of breast cancer when she was 33 and I am now 32. Her cancer started in pregnancy and I have just given birth. We have no other family history but it’s still worrying me.

I’ve been given an appointment for next week. My baby will be just under 8 weeks old. I don’t know if I can take him to the appointment. I did ask and the admin team said it was probably okay but if I need imaging done then I need to think about who looks after baby during that. So it’s probably best I don’t bring him. DH is a teacher and will struggle to be allowed time off. We don’t have family close by and I don’t want to tell anyone about this appointment because I’m scared and will cry, and I might worry family if they knew too. I think we’ll have to apply for DH to have a day of unpaid emergency leave and I’ll need to attend alone. What’s it like attending this kind of appointment alone? I think I’ll feel quite scared. If we can’t get the leave approved, I will just have to take baby with me (not keen on taking him into a germy hospital environment though) and probably skip the imaging and return at a later date, although we’ll have the same problem again.

Now I’ve written this, I’m not sure there’s a question tbh! I think I was just looking to get it off my chest really. Hand holds welcome! And any stories of nipple retraction…

I don't think it's advisable to take the baby with you to the appointment. You might be asked to do either a mammogram or an ultrasound (possibly both) and who will hold the baby?

I know it's inconvenient, but I'd strongly recommend having your husband take time off to watch the baby.

will just have to take baby with me (not keen on taking him into a germy hospital environment though) and probably skip the imaging

Don't skip the imaging; that's the point of the visit!

I've had these type of breast investigations before and I understand how anxiety provoking the process is. Best to just get it done and put it behind you. Hope everything turns out well; sending good thoughts your way

Of course you're scared - that's totally sane! Chances are it's fine, but the Breast Clinic will be more than used to women crying. Don't be embarrassed by it. Having been through similar, I think you need to be a bit more open with friends and family. You can just choose someone who might be able to come with you. Ask them not to tell anyone else as it's probably going to turn out to be nothing and you don't need everyone worrying as it adds to the stress. Ask them if they'd mind just coming with you and looking after the baby while you go into your appointment. They can sit in the hospital café or just wait in the waiting room or take the baby for a walk in the pram. Reach out to someone though. If your husband can't go, that's what friends and family are for. Let them help. Sending hugs. You'll be fine, but I know it's scary xx

If you are close to your family I think that you should reach out to them, I think that they would want to support you and may have suggestions…Don’t worry about worrying them ! Think about yourself and your needs ….. Hope it all goes well for you xx

Try to leave the baby with someone as you will have enough to deal with. Hand hold and good luck! Xox

Could you ask a family member and just be vague about the appt? If you're not wanting to worry them

Can your husband still ask for the time off? The worse they can say is no.

I say this as a former teacher married to a teacher. His HoD (rather than SLT) might be surprisingly flexible if it’s a part day.

I was in a similar position and had to take my baby as I was breastfeeding and it was covid times. It was absolutely fine. Not a problem in the slightest. You won't be able to have a mammogram anyway because you're lactating, so they'll do a physical exam, an ultrasound and then if there is anything suspicious they might do a fine needle biopsy, but that only takes a minute or so, then back to the consultant.

I either cuddled baby or had them in the pram as needed and it was totally fine. The lovely nurses were bemoaning covid as they said they normally cuddle babies for women who are in getting checked.

Apparently it happens fairly often because breast tissue changes a lot with pregnancy and lactation so lots of lumps and bumps and nipple changes to check out.

I was really worried about taking baby but wish I hadn't stressed. It was totally fine.

I got the all clear the same day, and hope you do too.

Thank you all. We will certainly try to get the morning at least off for my husband. Although if the appointment is up to 3 hours and the hospital is an hour away it may need to be the full day.

It will probably be best if I go alone and my husband stays at home with our baby. I can’t breastfeed so at least we don’t need to worry on that front!

Hopefully DH can get the time off, although he’s already had a morning off in the last couple of weeks for our baby’s tongue tie clinic when I couldn’t drive after a c-section.

The clinic did say on the phone, and also the letter mentions this too, that they can’t always do imaging on the same day. I think I’ll email them about that as if they think there is a strong possibly I won’t be able to have a scan same day then I’d rather wait for a later appointment to avoid the childcare issue twice. And I’m not sure it will help to see a consultant and then have a further wait for a scan, as that will just compound the worry if I get the feeling they think it could be something malignant.

The main reason I don’t want to tell my mum is I can’t cope with her worrying being added to mine at this point! My only 2 local friends have also just had babies themselves so won’t be in a much better position than me to come along. We’ve got a good NCT group around us, and I know one of them would happily look after baby actually, but I don’t really want to ask unless we absolutely have to. But hopefully we can sort a day off for DH.

Just wanted to update and say that since seeing my GP, the nipple stopped inverting which was a relief. DH was able to take a day of unpaid leave so I was able to still go to the breast clinic appointment this morning, whilst he stayed at home with our baby.

Before I’d even got undressed, the doctor very kindly said she wasn’t worried given it has come back out and when she had examined me I was thankfully discharged with no need for any imaging. I chucked my top on the chair when undressing and she very neatly folded it for me which I just thought was such a nice little gesture.

Such a relief to write this (and if we are lucky enough to have another baby, I will be staying away from electric breast pumps!).